I have a belly-flattening exercise for you

fatbelly

One that doesn’t require you to lay supine on your back and try, in vain, to connect your hoohaa to your lower jaw by limping through a series of stupid “crunches”. AND, my exercise is so much more effective, AND you can do it anywhere…

It’s called VOMITING.

That’s right. PUKING. The ultimate stomach flattening exercise. Its so easy to begin too! Just contract the stomach flu from an annoying child. OR, better yet, eat a lot of vegetables and then get shit-faced on cheap whiskey. Not only will you see faster results as far as beginning and completing the exercise, but by being drunk you won’t remember how many repetitions your stomach made you do before you were finally allowed to pass out!

As far as results go, if you follow my instructions on a daily basis, for about a week, you are sure to see a tighter, more toned stomach in no time!

A word of warning: Remember I told you that “vomit-toning” can be done anywhere? Well, you may soon find out that it is not YOU controlling WHERE the exercise begins and ends. So, before executing this routine, make sure you are in an environment where you can freely “work out” – and not somewhere like Sears, where people just don’t get “staying in shape” by whiskey…

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