Don’t GO GET a donut, make the donuts come to YOU…

Are you basically lazy, but love your donuts? Does the thought of having to move your fat ass off of the couch one more time in order to trudge the fifty feet down your driveway to the mailbox just to  collect your welfare check, so you can go “pastry shoppin'” piss you off?  Does just the mere mental picture of wasting MORE time driving your unregistered car to the bank to CASH that welfare check so you can spend 10 minutes or more in line at Dunkin Donuts make you want to stuff Little Debbie’s into your mouth, a box at a time?

Well, your problem may have just been resolved!

From the makers of that groovy sleep attire/casual out-door wear -Pajama jeans – comes a NEW, convenient – and fashionable – way for the lazy asshole to once again, acquire what he or she wants without ever having to DO THE WORK to get it.  Introducing….


It’s a shirt AND it’s a MAGNET!  It’s a shirt that attracts DONUTS with a fat-target magnet!   That’s right!  Just put on this cheap-ass TShirt, with the handy built in (but hidden) magnet, and watch the donuts as they are DRAWN to you!

Imagine!  With the Magnetic Donut Shirt covering your blobs of fat, you will NEVER again have to:

Wait in line at the donut shop, hoping that there are still 2 dozen cruellers available for your mid-day snack, because they will be within your fat grubby hands five seconds after they are out of the oven!

Sneak into the the office breakroom – for the third time in fifteen minutes – just to grab the 3 remaining bear claws!  Nope, just sit in your cubicle as you normally do, reading online JUGS magazine and pretending to work – don’t worry, the donuts will soon be at your fingertips!

Trick little Suzie or Johnny into thinking Santa has made a surprise visit in their living room in the middle of July, and sending them out of the room to CHECK – just so you can grab their donut holes!  That’s right, for this manuever, all you need to do is fart, and play pull my finger, and those holes will be in your gaping maw before the kids have even realized their goodies have disappeared from their plates!

That’s right! You won’t have to move an inch you fat asshole! Because as long as you are wearing this shirt, all pastries within a 50 mile radius will be just as drawn to you, as you are to them!  So, order this shirt now – sit back on your couch, relax, snarf up them donuts – and continue to get fatter and fatter until you have a massive heart attack and die!