Letters to My Scammers Part DEUX…

Money! So they say, IS the root of all evil tooooday...Pink Floyd...

Money! So they say, IS the root of all evil tooooday...Pink Floyd...

It’s a hard life being the only voice of reason among various feeble-minded bank auditors with money to spare, but alas, no common business sense.  I received 6 or so new business proposals for help with solving the same problem as before, from bank auditors/supervisors (whatever they are) from the coast of Africa and the surrounding terrains. 

This time I selected a few of them who it turns out, not only live extremely close to each other in region but appear to have actually been working in the same Bank of Africa, yet for some reason, never knew the others existed.  It’s a mystery alright.

At least this time, it turns out my new friends want me to contact them before I give them my personal and banking information (which is Step 2) – what a nice touch that is! Gives me a warm fuzzy.

Anyway, like the ones before them, I just did the best I could to help them reach their goals of transporting their millions to America.  Here is proof of my latest efforts:



June 21, 2009

Dear Friend,

I am MR DIALO ABRAHAM the manager incharge of bill and exchange department BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A)

In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of (fifteen million US dollars) . In an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in november 2004 in a plane crash.

 Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines but unfortunately we learnt that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving no body behind for the claim.
It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this businness proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and I don’t want this money to go into the Bank treasury as unclaimed Bill. The Banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained unclamed after five years, the money will be transfered into the Bank treasury as unclaimed fund.

 The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Burkinabe can not stand as next of kin to a foreigner.

I decided to make it that 30 % of this money will be for you as my foreign partner, in respect to the provision of a foreign account, 10 % will be set aside for any expenses both of us made during this deal and 60 % will be for me and this 10% is for any expencess from your own side you make and from my own side i make during this deal, and when the fund is transferd we have to reduct the expencess we made from our pocket during this deal first beforec shearing the fund according to the percentages.

Then after I will visit your country for disbursement accoding to the percentages indicated. Therefore to enable the immediate trnansfer of this fund to you as arranged, you must apply first to the bank as relations or next of kin of the deceased indicating your bank name, your bank account number, your private telephone and fax number for easy and effective communication and location where in the money will be remitted .

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text of the application. I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as I have laymed and noted that there is know risk involved ,you should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter.


Looks like a mighty big bank to me!








Monday, June 22, 2009 9:06 PM
From:  “sayallthewritethings@rocketmail.com” sayallthewritethings@rocketmail.com

Hi Mr Abraham,

Just want to say first, that I am familiar with this problem you are having and I want to help in any way I can.

Therefore I would like to introduce you to Mr. Marconi Latin and Ms. Helen Idris, also, believe it or NOT!, managers or supervisors at the Bank of Africa in well.. Africa – just like you are Mr. Abraham!!

Therefore, I have taken the liberty of forwarding your email to Mr. Latin (Marconi) and Ms. Idris (Helen) so that you three can get together and help each other out with getting all the money out of Africa at once.   This problem seems stifling and no one should have to go it alone.

But I have to confess, I don’t quite understand how you don’t ALREADY know each other since you are ALL managers or some type of supervisor at 3 different Bank of Africa’s. And come on, these BOFAF are all located in well… Africa. Surely each bank is aware of the other’s existance. Surely you didn’t think yours was the ONLY one, did you?

I don’t mean to sound harsh but is your country SO backwater that the Bank of Africa doesn’t have an internal office phone system capable of contacting the other brances of BOFAF in Africa? Don’t they even provide an 800 number so the poor managers could call internally to other managers who may have successfullysolved a problem similiar to the one you are all three facing?

Well, I have to admit I know NEXT to nothing about banking. All I can do is the Christian thing and connect you with each other. So this is what I’m doing.

Look, don’t be nervous. I have this feeling that if you put your heads together you could all three put these annoying money problems to rest once and for all.   So Helen and Latin, if you both would please read the attached email from Mr. Diablo Abraham,  where he so openly unburdens himself of his banking troubles – you both would realize you SHARE THE VERY SAME DILEMMA. The conundrum of ALL this extra money and no next of kin for your “scattered dead persons with no living relations” (the multiple plane crashes –  God rest their souls).

So I’ve done all I can do on this end and I sincerely hope this has helped.   Gosh Darn! I feel just like a modern day Harriet Tubman!! LOL

Anyway, you obviously have my email address.  So don’t any of you hestitate to contact me again if I can be of further service.

God Speed! Lisa L

PS – If onlyI had been aware of each of your dilemma’s last week.   I set 2 OTHER gentlemen up (Both from BOFAF, go figure LOL) with each other AND an OIL BARON, richest in his country, he says. PLUS I fixed them up with a steal of a housing deal right here in Sacramento Ca, so they would have a place to stay in America to keep an eye on all that money. Can’t be too careful these days, I know.




Sadly, Marconi’s email from me was returned twice.  I don’t know what manner of bedevilment befell him – perhaps he got lost in that BIG bank in Africa.  God knows it could happen – imagine working there the whole time, at the same time, yet the three of  you were NEVER destined to meet.  Until now! (Cuz of moi:)


Thankfully, about a half hour after Marconi abandoned us, Mr. Chan Lee joined us!  It was like a miracle.  Out of the blue here is Mr. Lee’s email delivered to my email as though by the hands of God himself.  And, although Mr. Lee hails from China – Guess what???? He has the SAME money/deadperson plane crash/no family dilemma as everyone else these days.   So below Mr. Lee’s email first and then right after is my excited welcoming email to Mr. Lee:  (I sent him the same email that I sent to Helen and Marconi – the one you just read it a few minutes ago so I didn’t recopy it)


Let me guess - Dead rich guy, plane, no family? Yeah, it's going around...

Let me guess - Dead rich guy, plane, no family? Yeah, it's going around...

Dear Friend,

I bring you greetings.

I am Mr. Chan Lee, I work with BANK OF CHINA, HONG KONG. I have a Business Proposal of $17.3M for you to handle with me from my bank. I need you to assist me in executing this Business Project from Hong Kong to your country. The owner of monies died in tragic plane crash, no living relatives found.
I need to know if you will be able to handle this with me before I explain to you in details. Should you be interested please send me the required information below;
(1). Full Names
2).Current Residential Address
3). private phone number,
I will want you to reach me on my private e-mail:
Finally after that I shall provide you with more information.
Mr. Chan Lee




Tuesday, June 23, 2009 1:42 AM
Dear Mr. Chan Lee:
I am so excited that you contacted me! And just in time.  Allow me to explain.
Attached to this email I have sent you are two other emails.  One is a copy of the email you sent me. I wanted to be sure you had yours at your disposal so you could review each and every detail and see that when you compared it with the second attached email  I recently sent to 3 other people (one is no longer with us, sadly), they are  experiencing your exact same financial puzzle you are, right down to the rich guy with no living relatives killed in a plane crash.

The only difference from your situation is that these other people hail from the dark coast of Africa.    However, by weird coincidence, they have all been working as auditors at the same fianancial institution, seemingly in the same branch if the addresses on their emails to me are correct, yet they do not appear to have ever heard of each other.  That must be a huge bank is all I can say.

Yep, It's a HUGE Bank...

Yep, It's a HUGE Bank...

Anyway, I think you would be a wonderful addition to this team and I feel confident that  with strength in numbers (3 in this case)  a sound solution will be found for everyone! 
Maybe a fresh set of eyes from another country can even help the African auditors to understand and recognize that all of them have worked and are still working at the same bank, and once they acknowledge this as fact, it will be enough where all of you can put that banking brain power together and work out the  next of kin details and GET THAT MONEY MOVING! 
Anyway, please take special note as you read over my original email to them that I have experience in helping auditors of this ilk meet and collaborate together for the common good. I recently became an expert in this field only last week, but I feel I truly know the system by now. 
Forward this email to Helen and Mr. Abraham  immediately. 
 Oh yes, I mentioned that one of the auditors is no longer with us.  It seems that  Marconi has lost his email privileges.  I tried twice to get my original email to  him and it bounced back both times. I seriously hope he didn’t lose his Internet services on TOP of all the stress he was under in his secret corner of the big bank.  I had hoped he would have had the presence of mind to borrow some of HIS dead man plane crash money to pay his Internet bill if this were the case, as i am sure his “deceased” would have not minded at all.  But I haven’t heard from him so I fairly certain that he has backed out for reasons of his own.  Perhaps he is still lost in the bank, big as it is. 
So this leaves you, Mr. Abraham and Helen.
Good Luck and Fear NOT!  I know you will be successful.  With that money between the three of you, you should be able to afford whatever manner of transportation you deem necessary to haul that loot over to American soil.
Maybe we’ll see you at Hooters!!
Lisa L.