Jacko Conspiracy Theory and It’s Just Not Fair-ah!

Altar to Farrah, Ed and...who the hell is that?....Webster?? He looks bigger..
Altar to Farrah, Ed and…who the hell is that?….Webster?? He looks bigger..

What’s really sad about yesterday’s celebrity deaths, besides the fact that they’re well…dead, is how Farrah got kicked to the curb again in terms of stardomthis time in her final role as the Dead Chick That Kinda Sounds Familiar.   What’s devastating about this latest snub to the poor girl is the fact that there will be no more acting jobs for her – no more B movie of the week offers – no more appearances on Good Morning America in front of a fawning audience of whiny, cellulite encased housewives, not even the future hope of a PoPeil-endorsed spray-on hair for chemo patients infomercial.  This was IT!

Her final starring role, the one that should have gotten her an OSCAR for best actress in the First-Reported-Celebrity-Death-of-the-Day catagory alone, was rendered as meaningless and impotent as her earthly attempts at the big screen, when she was knocked so rudely back into that all too familar catagory of  I’m-just- grateful-to-have-been-nominated – The Newly Cadaverized version, by The WhizKid himself Mr. Michael Jackson, when he decided to moonwalk outta here on the same damn day!  But IS he dead?

In this light "Bubbles" kinda looks like "Webster", hmm...

In this light "Bubbles" kinda looks like "Webster", hmm...

 

 

 I know they say Michael died of cardiac arrest, however,  I have my doubts as to the actual truth of this. 

I have two competing theories at this time as to the realstory of what happened to MJ:

1.  He never had plastic surgery.  This was a cover story designed by the government to conceal the fact that his “human face” mask was melting away and he would soon be exposed to the world as an alien dictator

Human mask....REAL FACE!

Human mask....REAL FACE!

 

 

 

 

I’m guessing on the day he “died” his real family came to re-abduct him back to his true home planet of Kidpornicus in the attempt to keep his real identity from the world FOREVER.

Family photo 1986 - Father's Day on Kidpornicus

Family photo 1986 - Father's Day on Kidpornicus

We've come for the chiiiiilddrren...

We've come for the chiiiiilddrren...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2.  There never wasa La Toya Jackson.  Michael and LaToya are the same person.  Think about it – they’re identical in appearance, and we NEVER saw them at the same time. Just add a Cher wig and some “Bubbles” and Voila!

Cha CHa Cha CHIA...Chest....(Just add H20)

Cha CHa Cha CHIA...Chest....(Just add H20)

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I’ve devised a simple test to put both these theories of mine to rest, or not.  Starting this minute scan the TV news closely for any NEW alien developments in our nations’ trailer regions AND check for any photos of  La Toya that would show she’s all of a sudden taken a shine to having children sit on her lap! 
 
In fact screw the TV news! They LIE!!  Your best resource for the truth is the exposure magazine –  The World News.  We all know this is the one media mag you can trust! 
 
After all, they were the only ones who brought us the truth about Bat Boy!  Now, maybe they can help us in the quest for the Truth About Michael…Good Luck my friends! I know together we can come up with The TRUTH!! And when we do – Farrah can take her rightful place as OSCAR winner from beyond the grave, as is only fitting for an Angel of her Stature.
 
In the meantime, if any of you have any other theories, please don’t hesitate to send them to me.
Mythbusters! Bat Boy is REAL!!!!

Mythbusters! Bat Boy is REAL!!!!