A brief commentary on some search words that brought HERPES visitors to my blog

My search engine terms from today 6/23/10

I  want to make just a brief commentary on some of the search terms that people are using  that subsequently land them on my blog. I think they all tie into our nations new obsession – and yes, crazy love – with herpes.  Here are my favorites as I see them:

GENITAL HERPES IN WOMEN – Now, I don’t know if this is a female person who truly wants to find out about her predicament – or if this is a person who’s LOOKING for a female with genital herpes. And, I really don’t want to think about it beyond this mention.

BLACK ASS – At first glance, this key word item looks like someone was looking for a porn site, and ended up here by mistake.  But upon closer reflection, I’m wondering if the BLACK ASS isn’t a result of a combination of the above terms .

MATH PROBLEM:

Genital herpes + pubic lice + genital herpes in women +  pubic crabs = BLACK ASS (What do you think?)

Now MILD GENITAL HERPES is certainly a more optimistic search term than just GENITAL SORES, isn’t it? Could you imagine the “love connection” dating site intro:

Hi, My name is Tina. I  have herpes, HOWEVER, I would just like to say it’s MILD genital herpes. I swear, it’s SO light, you won’t even notice.  How about giving me a try? I will send pictures upon request.  I’m just itching to meet you! Toodles!

Now, maybe Tina should  hook up with the person looking for WOMEN HERPES GENITAL PICTURE because this person really seems interested in seeing them – I mean, he or she, went to all the trouble to hunt them down, right? But I don’t get what GENITAL HERPES PICTURES ON WOMEN means, do you? The closest thing I can come up with is that it’s one of the “niche fetishes”, where a secret click of horny men – or women – want to glue GENITAL HERPES PICTURES on a woman, and masturbate to them. But do they want the picture wearer to be WITH or  WITHOUT clothes?

GENITAL HERPES ON FACE? OK, Tina isn’t that pathethic, there’s actually someone out there who is broken out with STD ACNE! And it’s probably NOT mild. In fact, she – or he – is probably also dealing with PUBIC FAT. Now THERE is a person who will be living with Mom and Dad for a few years out of high school.

And, what about GENITAL UCUK? Do Russian people have this obsession with the itchy vaginal netherworld too?

Is South Park and it’s gone, some poor infected asshole’s (pun? perhaps) way of trying to use that “Wizard of Oz” move?   You know – click 3 times and say “there’s no place like home” and then voila! You’re home again. So maybe this guy watches episodes of South Park – naked from the waist down – then, as soon as the credits start rolling, closes his eyes, says “abracadabra, and it’s gone!” – and then peeks hopefully at the offending critter infested parts below. But we all know what happens, don’t we?  For all his optimistic enthusiasm, what he sees when he opens his eyes is that – ALAS  it’s NOT gone.

And my favorite (near the end) – Someone in cyber land is interested in fucking an UGLY VAGINA with a VINTAGE DILDO.  However it appears they’re having trouble finding the real thing, because they’re actually thinking of using an old Aunt Jemima bottle.  But FIRST, they want to know OLD AUNT JEMIMA BOTTLES VALUE before they stupidly commit to that “ugly vagina” and end up ruining an irreplaceable antique on a bad piece of poon tang!

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8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. thinkinfyou
    Jun 23, 2010 @ 23:53:07

    I have to admit,the pubic fat search was me….they don’t have many exercises that you can do when you vag gets a little hefty!

    Reply

    • surveygirl46
      Jun 24, 2010 @ 00:05:04

      LOL…yeah, right! I figured you for the “pictures of genital herpes” on women – if only for the masturbatory factor – or maybe vintage dildo? At any rate, you’re way TOO classy to ever have pubic fat…

      Reply

  2. surveygirl46
    Jun 24, 2010 @ 01:07:13

    LOL…that’s funny, but untrue my dear…

    Reply

  3. kathcom
    Jun 24, 2010 @ 23:36:19

    Damn, you are funny! FYI, plastic surgeons do lipo on pubic fat.(I’ve worked for a few…surgeons, that is.) The “defect” is called mons lipodystrophy–like muscular dystrophy, but without the telethon. Or the muscles.

    Reply

    • surveygirl46
      Jun 25, 2010 @ 01:58:07

      Or the publicity – hmmm….that makes me think we should maybe do some “research” and a post on it, what do you think, Kath.commie?

      Reply

      • kathcom
        Jun 25, 2010 @ 03:31:08

        If we had a lipodystrophy telethon, it would do great, since there are so many fat people–they could donate money and get thanked with burgers and ice cream.

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