Erased book.com

PORTRAIT OF A FACE BOOK LIABILITY...

  

OK.  I know I’ve bagged a LOT on Facebook in the past.     

I’ve called it WASTE book  and MACED book. I’ve picked on the little “fruit fairy” smilies that people obligate each other with – along with complaining about the constant requests from those on my list requesting my  “help” by  sending imaginary livestock to their make-believe farms – requests that still seem truly psychotic to me, but apparently hold perfect logic for those in the final stages of denial.      

And I committed all that sacrilige by adding unflattering photo choppery, to boot.      

I also snidely suggested that someone create a Face Book of the Dead friends list – filled with those who can no longer speak (or request return smilie ) – and, in fact,   can’t do anything BUT help you to look better by increasing the number of “friends” on your list. This, of course, brings a person that kind of popularity – cyberly speaking – that he or she may have never gotten to enjoy in back in highschool.         

BOOKDEAD 

   

And yet – because I’m a study in contradictions, I admit, I unabashedly flaunted that I have no problems whoring myself out for people to add on my friends list.   It’s just like that Jaynes Addiction song – Jayne Says…..”I want him, if he wants me”.   That was all it took – and I rolled around in it, like a pig in shit.      But alas, pride ALWAYS cometh before a fall – chickens  ALWAYS come back to roost,  and my fave – “What you put out in the universe ALWAYS comes back to you.”  And, you’ll know when it’s arrived by the stinging sensation in your anal area.         

 And, today – one hour after bragging to a pissed off gangsta with a flat 40 ouncer and a bad attitude, stalking past my house – that MY face book friends list was a mere THREE names away from reaching the 400 mark – I returned to the website and noticed with a sinking heart that I had been….gulp…deleted by three of them.         

 Yep, that’s right – I’d been REMOVED ON PURPOSE – just like in that South Park episode about Face book.  The one where Stan’s FB stock plummets when he adds Kip Drodry – a kid who didn’t have ONE FB friends on his list for some reason – and then has to drop him in order to gain back his FB street cred.          

 Today, for equally unknown reasons –  I am that person  – KIP DRORDY.  I am that  pathetic little munchkin whose “very existance” depleted the street cred of at last 3 people who once were kind enough to add me and aid me in my quest for Face Book Friends List QUEEN OF THE WORLD! And, I now feel Kip’s pain…      

And, to those 3 people who I thought about maybe NEVER, the ones who so rudely gave me the boot? I still don’t remember who the fuck you are, but I remember I never liked you anyway!  LOL

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15 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. thinkinfyou
    Jun 06, 2010 @ 12:35:57

    I loved that episode! Soooo true. Hey,if losing FB friends really bothers you,try friend requesting businesses on there. I know way too many people that half their friends list consist of nothing but businesses….might make you feel better!

    Reply

    • surveygirl46
      Jun 06, 2010 @ 20:58:57

      Nah, the people on my list that I care about are still there – and you would be one of them my friend.:)

      I just like to exacerbate worthless situations and make them worse for comedies sake. SWEAR it doesn’t bother me. I just thought it would make for good posting:)

      Reply

  2. Woodsterman
    Jun 06, 2010 @ 16:41:10

    I notice, to save your ass, you added “LOL” in case those three visited you here. That does not make you the Queen of FB, but instead the Queen of desperate.

    I feel your pain because my daughter in law conned me into joining a couple of weeks ago. I’m so embarrassed to announce that here today. Remember I said here on your pages I would never …..

    The people at FB are just like those “Low-Lifes” at BlogCatalog with 2000 friends wanting to add you so you’ll “click” their F***ing ads. I never add them to my friends. They have to visit my site and READ a little before I add them.

    Nuff said !

    Reply

    • surveygirl46
      Jun 06, 2010 @ 20:57:09

      Actually I added LOL…just to let people know it’s a joke – i’m really not that into FB – I just started the joke rolling about 4 mos ago that I had the biggest list of friends that I don’t know out of all my friends I don’t know.

      The people that wrote me off their list were people I didn’t really know that well anyway – and never kept in contact with to begin with – i just added them when they asked.

      PS – I’m sure I’m the Queen of Desperate in some respect, but Facebook doesn’t win that game….:)

      Reply

  3. surveygirl46
    Jun 06, 2010 @ 21:00:09

    PS – to both my wonderful friends Woody, and TFU – I will ALWAYS have HERPES to make me feel better….LOL

    Reply

  4. Woodsterman
    Jun 07, 2010 @ 13:48:02

    You said “LOL”, so you really have HERPES ? I once had HERPES, but I gave it away.

    Reply

  5. Mr Monkey
    Jun 09, 2010 @ 02:19:02

    Screw Facebook – I want herpes !! what flavor ?

    Mr Monkey

    Reply

    • surveygirl46
      Jun 09, 2010 @ 09:01:19

      Woody – I STILL have herpes, and I hold onto it for dear life – it’s helps me SPREAD my message around to the masses. MM – You can chose from crusty crab or bumpy berry – it’s entirely up to you.

      Reply

  6. FreakSmack
    Jun 10, 2010 @ 02:33:03

    AW… You guys doing that stupid Facebook stuff again?

    Blech

    And I had herpes back before it was “cool”

    Now a’days it’s all about polio and wheelchair racing…

    Get with the times!

    Reply

  7. The Snee
    Jun 17, 2010 @ 10:54:16

    Ahh yes,The oh so familiar topics of Blog whoring and the proverbial facebook rampage..I’m so happy to have gotten such a good laugh this morning. Thanks!

    Reply

    • surveygirl46
      Jun 18, 2010 @ 03:11:28

      You are most welcome…if you stick around long enough, I’m sure you will get to witness my other bouts of humiliation – like when I walk into walls BEFORE I’ve had that first glass of wine…:)

      Reply

  8. kathcom
    Jun 25, 2010 @ 00:50:31

    Okay, I just sent you a friend request. Your move. Please don’t crush me like Kip!

    Reply

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