A message to EBAY: I’ve got your “item not as described hangin….”

Don't know about the Lakers, but I sure hope you enjoy that lake, David!

OK, I admit, I’m on an “EBAY sucks” mission lately, because….frankly….they do.

But really – the more I Google stories about the shit the sellers have been put through with crappy buyers, the more pissed I get. There are literally hundreds of them out on the web.


Stories about buyers that have opened a case against the seller for a broken item that wasn’t broken (nor returned) – even after getting a refund. Or the ones who sent the wrong item back for a refund – and got it.  Or my favorite: Buyer opens a case against the seller that they NEVER received the item (yet they signed the confirmation card…hmmmm) but they get EBAY to refund them ANYWAY.  Then EBAY demands the seller cough up the return money….

Many sellers have left EBAY after 10 years and an impeccable business feedback record.

First of all – here is the item Mr. “I wish I could suck the Lakers Love David” David purchased from us, and that is the one we sent.  Well, not THAT one, but I couldn’t find our “before” pictures in the 1000 or so I’ve stolen from Google over the last year, so I just stole another one ..to make it easier. However, ours looked pretty damn close…

Item is as described…
And this is how it was returned to us…


EBAY refunded them on “our” behalf…

So, in honor of those sellers, ourselves included – tonight I present to you – “I got your “not as described” hangin….AKA My feelings in glorious “photochop” regarding the MOST OVERUSED FUCKED UP POOR ASS LAME ONE-SIDED GREY-AREA overused “return for refund” excuse that EBAY has, that has allowed SCUMBUCKET BIDDER/BUYERS to run amok with fraudulent buys and returns: “I received an item that does not match the seller’s description.”

So, I thought to myself, since EBAY LOVES letting those assholes screw that excuse until the dog won’t even hump it – Let’s mail ’em something to REALLY bitch about.  Not the innocent Ebay buyer that wouldn’t dream of taking advantage of Ebay’s Nazi-issm, but the broken rubber’s of buyers – like David “i’m a cop REALLY” Robinson, and the rest.  So – example 1:  Ordering a nice ceiling fan from Ebay…

Wow! That’s gonna look SWELL swirling above someone’s Mark Stewart Collectible KFC bucket!


Now – that is correct EBAY, this is NOT like the fan in the above picture, is it? But look! The buyer can set it up all those different ways – and, as an added bonus – no one will ever know who it was that farted in the kitchen, and cleared the room!

Example 2:


Look at this beautiful STIEFF stuffed Kitty Kat worth about $25 used  – an EBAY favorite.  Only all the scam buyers hold out until the seller finally gives up in frustration and sells it for 1.99 INCLUDING shipping.   Hmmm…this bidder/buyer can’t WAIT to see what his Buck Fifty gets him…


Well, Jerry the Gerbil LOOKS snuggly soft, and oh my goodness! – He’s wearing the exact same EARS as the STIEFF Kitty Kat. AND he’s holding a gift turd for little Susie.  I for one, think the Scam Buyer got a Hell of a Deal for his $5, don’t you?

Oh but Mr. Scam Buyer isn’t happy…REFUND? Sure, go ahead and ship him back, but – I don’t know if the post office allows the mail transport of Live Vicious gerbils…

GOD I wish I could get away with that on someone who deserves it…



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9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Woodsterman
    Apr 14, 2010 @ 13:58:49

    Ebay Fucktards … got to love them.

    Reply

    • surveygirl46
      Apr 14, 2010 @ 21:14:04

      Yeah, well if they want fame – they’ve come to the right place. We closed our account down, you oughta see how many sellers have been screwed WORSE than this,…

      Reply

  2. thinkinfyou
    Apr 14, 2010 @ 22:47:40

    You have me scared now!

    Reply

  3. surveygirl46
    Apr 15, 2010 @ 00:24:38

    Don’t be scared – just concentrate on the cat-earred gerbil….

    Reply

  4. Static
    Apr 18, 2010 @ 17:02:38

    That last scam only works if Jerry the Gerbil is dead.

    Reply

  5. surveygirl46
    Apr 18, 2010 @ 18:21:00

    He IS dead – this is the cool part – my blog doesn’t have “smellovision” capbilities…..

    Reply

  6. Qelqoth
    May 11, 2010 @ 13:10:04

    One of the best eBay scams I’ve heard of: a man selling fifty lighters for £2. Turned out, they were paying for a box of matches. Moral: don’t be stupid.

    Reply

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