Deal or NO Deal-er …

I just have to admit I’m getting to like it here. Todd yells at Fluffy so loudly every night, that even the spanish street gangs give him respect knocks when they see us together outside – God Bless em’ they don’t even PRETEND that they’re not looking for my black eye.

Good one Heesay...


Anyway, here’s a short story that happened about a month ago. I still crack up whenever I recall it.

I told you about the colorful people who live next door. For 35 years they’ve owned our part of the city as far as the “let’s make a deal deals” go down. (if you get my drift). No one messes with them – not even the POPO – although they tend to mess with each other whenever they all start drinking their 40 ouncers at 11 a.m.

But they’re cool to us – they’ve got our backs – and since they start so early with the party favors, come 6 pm they’re all asleep, passed out, or have been hauled away to jail for disturbing the peace a few hours back. And I have to admit I LOVE to hear them talk freely, in their natural habitat – unfettered by the bogus “politically correct” society us WHITEYS get our faces mashed into each and every day of our lives.

On any given day, as I open my door to let Fluffy out for the 5th time in 5 minutes, I hear delicious fragments of conversation, like broken thought patterns, coming randomly from the daily giant party next door:

“An she was SO BLACK I din’t knowd if that wash er eyebrows or a got damn musstache or WHAT!”

Git yo ass home an give Mama some LUV...

” I LUVV YA MAN, why ya gotta be so fucked up to me? Fuck YOU! I lied, I fuckn hate your black ass, always have ASSHOLE”

and my new favorite catch phrase –

How YOU doin?

“How YOU doin! Darnell, get yo skinny black ass offa that heifa and get it in 5 or I’ll be whupin’ it again for everone to get a second showin’!”

Of course, we silently shut down all appliances to hear the diatribes. God their funny as shit! Anyway, sorry to digress…

One particular night I was unloading groceries from my car with our mutual friends, when this beautiful sophisticated black women, dressed in a gorgeous blouse and slacks gets out of her car, carrying a paper bag and approaches us. The friend looks at me, worried. I silently telepath this thought, “Not to worry, I know she’s black and we’re white in a black neighborhood, but she’s SMILING, k?”

So I say, Hi, can I help you? And she answers, “Do ya all know where the house is with the vans? The broke down ones that are always parked in the driveway, can you tell me how to get to it?” She holds up the paperbag and says, “I got Tony’s dinner and he’s gonna be mad at me if I’m any later”. Suddenly it dawns on me that she’s referring to our favorite neighbors place.

I say, “Oh, you mean Willy?” She looks surprised at first that a white girl listening to heavy metal in a mustang would know Willy by name, then she holds up the bag, and says gleefully, “Yeah, Willy! I have his…oh Hell! who am I shittin? We ALL know this ain’t dinner I’m carrying in this bag”! And we both laugh for about a minute, until she sashays off with a, “You all have a great night now!”

My friend looks scared, I just say, “GOD I love this neighborhood”..

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9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Troy
    Mar 05, 2010 @ 04:39:48

    Hi sis.

    Reply

  2. Troy
    Mar 05, 2010 @ 18:21:52

    It looks like I am still pretty STUPID! I guess I posted my e-mail for other people to see,oh well.Contact me at my g-mail lady, Troy

    Reply

  3. Woodsterman
    Mar 06, 2010 @ 16:36:16

    A smile a minute, hey kid ? Between your brother and neighbors, never a dull moment. Did I ever tell you I used to work in Compton 30 years ago ? I can relate.

    Reply

  4. FreakSmack
    Mar 13, 2010 @ 00:59:22

    I am so offended by this post! And to think, I came here to show you a picture of MY NEW GIRLFRIEND

    Reply

    • surveygirl46
      Mar 13, 2010 @ 01:30:41

      What a classssssy lad-ay….I bet she just charmed you with a wink and a “How YOU doin!” shakin’ that ass. …you are a lucky guy FS – Todd’s drooling…(more than usual, anyway)

      Reply

    • surveygirl46
      Mar 13, 2010 @ 03:33:48

      Todd says –

      A: You’re not going down without a snorkel are you?

      and

      B: Isn’t that the chick you went out with last year who gets down with the strap-on? (I DIDN’T know you swung that way….)

      Reply

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