I have to be in the office and at my desk by 8 AM every DAY?..(That’s INJUSTICE!)


Member of Private Furr’s ANTI-INJUSTICE Maker’s burrow

“We start our work day promptly at 8 am, no excuses!!”

OK management, supervisors, and self-appointed Top Dawgs of EVERY office job I’ve ever held   – I need to say this and get it off my chest – This “be here at 8 am” bullshit is BULLSHIT! 

 
 

 

In fact, it’s one of the top 5 contenders on my list of unjust demands that one person is allowed to demand of another.  Especially when that other person has to wake up even earlier at 6 am in order to make it to the stifling prison of the office at 8 am  – in an effort to stay way under your radar and get through another miserable day. Do you think I want to hear it AGAIN from you?  Do you think I yearn to see you in your “fat” dress lurking at the door? Your hair curled up like stupid little Jimmy Dean sausages due to that ridiculous perm that I hope for the sake of my vision is very temporary. I know you’re just WAITING for me to appear, right? So you can make yet ANOTHER example of my tardiness to the rest of my co-workers who are just as bored with this neverending broken record as I am. Do you think I look forward to the same old scene where you slowly shake your head while pointedly glancing at the wall clock, pausing dramatically as its second hand makes a homerun sweep past the 5 -second –after- 8 -am position –  JUST as  I’m skidding into my desk at 80 miles an hour at 8:00 and 15 seconds? Umpire what’s your call? She’s OUUUUUUT!


I’m tired of all the drama I go through every morning just to keep a job that’s starting to make me seriously consider becoming one of the local street people.  People who aren’t only missing their teeth, but also rigid schedules, and who probably don’t remember HOW to tell time or even care if they recognize a wall clock again.    

What a LOAD of injustical CRAP you dump on us (I as well as my brothers and sisters in work-slavery) with this ‘be here at 8 am every day’ nonsense. (Yeah, I know “injustical” isn’t in Webster’s dictionary yet, but I just made it up this very moment, so give it a few days)

And WHY 8 am? Why not 8:15? 8:10? Or even 8:01 am? What’s the untold story behind it? Will worlds collide and the heavens fall if 8 am isn’t successfully synchronized by every drone, every day? Do we prevent the coming of the anti-Christ by our mute and methodical obedience to this annoying hour?

Give me “THE” reason – that’s all I’m asking.  The ONE reason that causes a light bulb to suddenly light up my brain cells and VOILA! I get it! It makes perfect sense!  MAKE ME understand the logic behind this non-negotiable 8 am work doctrine. Present your argument, I’ll listen, I promise. But I have to tell you – the cards are stacked against you so far. Your redundant comment “that’s just our policy” is starting to stink like a 3 day visit from my in-laws.

What’s the use anyway? I already know I’ve gotten all I’m going to get from you explanation wise on this subject – but that’s OK. I’m quite happy to give you my opinion of the 8 am thing loud and clear.

First off it’s the pinning of my hell down to one specific hour FOREVER  that bugs me.  Did it ever occur to you that I’m only ONE of the billions of workers in California upon who this same demand is made by boring asswipes like you? And I’m not counting the demands made of us by you assholes in the other 51 states. So figure in Cali there are approximately 7 million or so of us stamped indelibly on the forehead with a “666” satanic demand to be at the office at promptly 8 am every day – just like the rest of the drones. BORING…

 

Would it kill you to be different from the rest of the sheepherders for once?  Give me one good reason you can’t stand apart from the crowd –   be unique and jazz the “time thing” around a little?  Like say – DEMAND we come in at 6:30 am, or PM? I’d go for that. I can have a life in between, even WITH little situations arising in my day.  But you won’t.  And I need to inform you that your “set in stone” passive conformity with all the rest is not only mind-deadening and sleep depriving to us – it’s also dangerous for everyone involved, including you.  Why? Well consider this.   

Every day 7 million suckers are focused on one thing and one thing only – we HAVE to be at our offices, seated at our desks at promptly 8 am to keep the job with “security” – the one that drains us of more life every day we’re forced like cattle to return to it. That’s 7 million of us who drive by ourselves or carpool.  7 million of us who all end up on the same roads together, at the same time every morning.  All driving erratically and trying not to spill our coffee while attempting to block out last night’s shocker announcement by our previously college-bound daughter that there’s been a slight change in plans,  Mom and Dad! Turns out she’s confirmed what she’s suspected for the last 5 years. She’s an alien from the planet Merknoid, and instead of San Jose State next month, she’ll be traveling invisibly to Boise, Idaho at 3 am this Tuesday morning to meet up with the space ship that’s scheduled to land in a corn field at 4:30 am earth time, to take her back to her real home. Sorry about the non-refundable first semester deposit Mom and Dad…or whoever you are.”  ” Oh, that’s OK R2D2-ette; all that matters is that Mom be in her seat at the office by 8 a.m. tomorrow.  Sorry I can’t stay up to say a long goodbye but be sure to say hi to your people from Dad and me, and have a safe trip!” So all that turmoil we feel when one of life’s unexpected but certain to happen little disasters happen just sits on our mental shelves.  Gosh, it could actually be dealt with if we had but a little extra time to absorb, reflect and accept it.  It could be marked off as complete and filed away. But instead it’s visibly gone, but not forgotten – all to make sure we accomplish our main purpose in life – which is to get to the job and be in our desks no later than 8 am every day.  And because our problem hasn’t been dealt with, our minds drift back to it even as our feet accelerate on the gas pedal to make our cars go even faster – and that’s when accidents, big ones, happen-  causing traffic jams that tie up the freeways for hours.   Maybe the lucky ones get taken away to hospital or maybe just…away…The rest of us still have to face YOU.


Then there’s the question of why one human being would make such an asinine demand on another human being in the first place. All I’m able to discern from my unsuccessful quest for the Holy 8 am grail is this:  You must have a sadistic need to see us lined up and sitting in a perfect row.  Your little clique of office automatons – doing your bidding without question in your secret fantasy of power and intrigue. 10 or 12 of us – our eyes bright and alert, ears perked up, pencils in hand and poised, quivering, over our legal tablets, as we wait with bated breath for your next batch of pearls to fall upon our tender ears.  What will you impart to us that we can’t live without knowing about this time, O great one? Shall it be the usual 45 minute “10 second staff meeting” to whine about “some of us forgetting” to sign up on the list you posted in the break room for our turn to clean the refrigerator on Fridays? Or will you this time be thrilling the masses with your recycled life-affirming informational essay on how drinking coffee at our desks is a no-no as it leaves rings on the ugly fake plastic wood (I call it plood) finish?  

Well I have news for you. No one in the office “forgot” about the fridge clean up list. We just ignore it. And another thing, we don’t drink coffee at our desks….while you’re there anyway. However, the minute you leave the office for longer than 10 minutes we bring out the coffee, creamers and mugs, like we’re partying at Starbucks on someone else’s dime.  And in my case, it’s not coffee that makes an appearance in my contraband mug, but Smirnoff Vodka. But my desk continues to be “ring free”.  You won’t ever see a hint of a ring on MY desk.

 

 
 

BUT, I always take care to make sure that YOUR desk gets a few professional coats of  vodka varnish – which I lovingly apply with your sweater or coat …whatever you have hanging in your office closet that day. Then I apply the ring end of the coffee mug I pilfered from my co-worker’s desk drawer when her back was turned. She won’t notice her “Worlds best Lesbian Grandma” mug is gone for at least another hour.  And I make sure to push that cup ring REALLY  hard into the thickening vodka varnish coating your desk , and I twist it in several different places – till there’s 5 or 6 perfect rings illuminating the cheesiness of  Wal*marts finest example of office furniture – from their “Pieces of Shit” collection. Then I return the cup to my co-worker’s drawer, my ass to my seat and it’s like I never even left my desk at all.

I figure since I can’t expect justice from someone like you – whose vocabulary doesn’t contain such a word – I have to invent my own. You’ll never look hard enough between the lines to investigate the molester of  your fine plood furniture, or  even question what the rest of us might have been up to for that matter – you’ll only notice us if we’re not at our desks every day at 8 a.m.

 

Advertisements

18 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. thinkinfyou
    Nov 06, 2009 @ 13:38:22

    Just another reason why we need to get going on writing and performing songs for children. Our first lesson we could teach children could be about this very subject. We could change the world!!!

    Reply

  2. TJ Lubrano
    Nov 06, 2009 @ 13:40:58

    Hahaha! You said it! You know, you can write a book titled: The Unjustical reasons of 8am. I think I need to work on the title hehe.

    BUT! I will buy several copies and shove it under the noses of all the peeps who are preaching the 8am ways . I really do wonder what will happen if you are a few minutes later and while I’m typing this…I wonder what will happen if you arrive a minute before 8am…

    I do a lot of wondering lately ^_^! Take care!

    Reply

  3. surveygirl46
    Nov 06, 2009 @ 16:29:46

    @TFU – Let’s get crackin sistah! We can both come up with themes, and lyrics but you’ll have to write the melodies – not every song can be sung to the tune _the wheels on the bus – lol

    @TJ- If i write that book TJ will do you the cover with your beautiful artwork? Don’t wonder about wondering a lot – most likely it’s the last of the “blue pill veil” just starting to slip off and show you what’s what out there…

    Reply

    • TJ Lubrano
      Nov 07, 2009 @ 19:05:04

      You have a deal! I shall illustrate it for you ^_^! The reality is quite difficult. So many hidden messages and I have a feeling that the unjustical ways of 8am is just the beginning of it all. I need a moment to give it all some space….I wonder what would have happened if I choose the red pill…there was also a purple pill…lovely colors I have to say, but I was afraid of what it would do though…

      Reply

  4. FreakSmack
    Nov 06, 2009 @ 20:42:29

    I have to ask 1 thing, was this written on company time? I’m betting that it was at the very least “thought out” between 8:20 – 8:49 am… then came the vodka…

    Reply

  5. surveygirl46
    Nov 06, 2009 @ 21:48:28

    Well the vodka came at 4 am – then there was the wild ride down the freeway at 5:02 am – the srange thing was I must have hit a bunch of cars cuz my mustang sure has a lot of damage – only, i don’t remember seeing anyone else on the freeway at that time? hmmm…strange. And yes, it was written during company time, on company stationary, and while watching 3’s Company, on the company TV oh, and i invited company to the office too – a few of the local street people – they came in to mumble about their profession as a kind of inservice for “career” change, oh and i was late again …

    Reply

  6. audibleunderwear
    Nov 07, 2009 @ 00:22:07

    Way to rage against injustice! I would do so also if my blog would finally register on HBDC, ps thanks for visiting and leaving kind words! Gerbil power and what not.

    Reply

  7. zytzef
    Nov 07, 2009 @ 17:29:11

    May I suggest some ingenious (read, just imagine) ways of returning the “favour”:
    You got to play with their rules:

    You reach your office at 7:45 Am and wait right outside the door till it strikes 8:00am. Nothing pisses off boss more than this.

    If u are starting at 8:00 my guess is you finish at 5:00pm, just stop abruptly at 5:00 and step outside the office and then waste time.

    Have you ever tried the smiling face, it really freaks out people, just smile without any reason and don’t stop staring.

    I understand what it feels like to have people trying to noose you. It’s elementary humans can’t let go of dominion.

    Reply

    • surveygirl46
      Nov 07, 2009 @ 17:47:00

      Hi Zytef! Nice to meet you. If i can get my lazy but out of bed the first suggestion sounds hysterical – ill have to practice the second one – i always have stayed late to do a good job at ALL my jobs, and the 3rd suggestion i already do, i just add drooling for the a nice effect:)

      Reply

  8. TJ Lubrano
    Nov 07, 2009 @ 20:31:30

    Yoohooo! I’m back (yes I stalk you today)!

    I just replied on my blog to your comment, but just in case I drop it here too.

    The thing is…I do see lots of images in my head and I just draw them. Oh I know exactly what you mean with writing! You just instantly create a story around people and even though they think it’s silly, it’s real for you! I’m writing myself!

    With drawing requests, it is kinda funny, people just give a few hobbies and photo’s and then I just draw whatever comes in mind and up till know they all like it. Hahaha at least I think it’s funny ^_^’, because they can also simply dislike it hehe.

    Thank you so much for you sweet comment! Stop by anytime! Oh we do have to create our genius book someday!

    Reply

    • surveygirl46
      Nov 07, 2009 @ 20:38:41

      We will sooner than later – since i have time on my hands again..for a while anyway, to devote to it – btw that’s exactly how i write. i found i could write song lyrics that way as well – people throw me a melody and i wait for the story to show up. Hey, how come you and i aren’t famous and rich yet ? LOL

      Reply

      • TJ Lubrano
        Nov 07, 2009 @ 21:07:25

        We will, we will! We just have to await our time and when it comes…we shall rule the world of words and illustrations!! Hey, did you hear a dramatic background tune? *looks around*

        How cool that you write song lyrics as well! Do you play instruments yourself? It’s indeed just waiting for the right images and words to come up when you get the melody! How cool! If I hear a melody I know where to go to ^_^! La la la laaaaa

  9. surveygirl46
    Nov 07, 2009 @ 21:35:08

    You’re a delight TJ! Often i hear music in my head but it turns out that all the voices were talking at once…

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: