Mr. Hankey helps Carrot Top make his comeback!

Ya know, the more I get to know Mr. Hankey the more I realize what a selfless philanthropist he is. It seems like every time I open a newspaper, turn on the TV, or surf the ‘net – there he is again! Coming to the aid of all those “sub” celebrities who never quite made the cut in Hollywood.

 

Take Carrot Top for instance. Although I’m sure he put his heart and soul into it, his dramatic portrayal of the annoying spokesperson in last decade’s flop “1-800-CALL-ATT” didn’t really “connect” with the viewing public did it? In fact instead of helping his star rise to the longed-for heights of Lifetime Television glory, he only succeeded in irritating the shit out of us – that, and becoming the next contract hit to be ordered by bored Mob bosses with time on their hands (there’s only so many enemies to whack before your list grows short, waddya gonna do?)

So next Carrot Top decides to adopt a more “stream-lined” look – which didn’t turn out so well either, I’m afraid.

Poor Carrot Top, who apparently admired both Michael Jackson AND Gary Glitter, went a bit overboard when he decided to combine BOTH their looks into one. (Even though in this picture CT looks like he’s a bleached and thin Oprah accepting an Emmy, compare all 3 photos and you’ll get the gist of what I mean. Check it out:

So now we have surgery FAIL. Even Metro PCS doesn’t want Carrot Top as a spokesperson for their phone services – not even when he bulked up those muscles until they were “prison-yard” regulation size.

So now Carrot Top’s broke, weirder-looking than ever, and scares more children into staying indoors than “having their salad tossed” by a convict scares them into learning to read. Well, Carrot Top,  Guess the only way out is suicide or being a regular on Dancing with the Stars…..But Wait!

Along comes Mr. Hankey, who feels nothing but compassion when he learns of Carrot Top’s plight!

HIDEE HO CARROT TOP! I’VE GOT A PLAN….

And he did! Mr. Hankey met with and coached Carrot Top for 6 whole months. They went over his plans and dreams and all his hopes for the future. Then they went over Carrot Top’s actual reality for another 6 months, and Mr. Hankey made his suggestions. There was some more surgery involved and THIS time Mr. Hankey made sure the surgery was done right!

BEFORE AFTER

Although Carrot Top was reluctant to try it Mr. Hankey’s way, he’s sure glad he did now! Well, hell! I’ll shut up now so you can see for yourself:

 

Thanks to Mr. Hankey, Carrot Top is finally in pictures!

Yep that’s right! Carrot Top is the poster model on the 2010 Calendar for the National Work Training Center for Retarded persons! And there’s more!

Carrot Top also has a singing career – again, thanks to Mr. Hankey!

Doesn’t he look happy?

Congratulations Carrot Top!  See you in March and I’ll look for you this Christmas in Wal-Mart bargain bin!

Thanks Mr. Hankey, you rock!

 

 

HIDEE HOOOOOO! Boys and Girls….

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. TJ Lubrano
    Nov 04, 2009 @ 22:10:58

    Make him stop! Noo! What is he doing!! Okay I wanted to say Why is he doing this?! Actually I never heard of Mr. Carrot Top…if I did, I put it a safe somewhere in my mind ^_^. Nice post! You have a clear and funny writing style! I like it!

    And thanks for your compliment, I never really considered myself as an artist, until I started my blog haha!

    I will stop by again! Take care!

    Reply

    • surveygirl46
      Nov 05, 2009 @ 00:44:09

      Hi TJ – thanks for stopping by and for your nice compliments! I meant what i said, you are very talented. I can’t draw a stick figure to save my life and well, you’ve seen my photo shopping abilities…LOL

      Reply

  2. FreakSmack
    Nov 05, 2009 @ 13:32:13

    Poor Carrot Top… The last thing you want to give a ginger is steroids. On the bright-side, I hear cave-man forehead is IN right now.

    Reply

  3. Woodsterman
    Nov 05, 2009 @ 15:23:34

    I hope he never gets that haircut. We won’t be able to tell him from the real talent Mr Hanky.

    Reply

  4. surveygirl46
    Nov 05, 2009 @ 15:25:47

    Either way they both stink in their own special ways….

    Reply

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