Don’t just “guess” if it’s safe to have sex. Ask Holly!

If you have a Face book account and send “crap gifts” to your friends (the ONLY reason to join, in my book anyway) … then you’ve seen this cute little toy! This is a stuffed “herpes doll”. herpes_1 

            realherp
    It’s supposedly a replica of this.  Which is supposed to be a real live herpe under a microscope, but it looks more like an old piece of Chef Boyardee ravioli to me..  I don’t know WHAT they’re planning to do with this herpe doll, but whatever it is, it hasn’t been done fast enough for me.  So I did something about it.    

Remember those “mood rings”?
  
 
For those of you too young to revel in the glamour of the mood ring – it went like this: You were sold a cheap band of colored glass that was supposed to turn colors according to whatever mood you were in when you put it on your finger.
  
Green meant you were envious or jealous.
Blue meant you were tranquil or peaceful.
Red meant you were anxious or uptight.
Black meant you were NOT in a good mood.  
  
I used to pick out my clothes for school AFTER I put my mood ring on, so I could color coordinate my wardrobe with what mood it thought I should be in that day. For some reason I ended up wearing a lot of black. 
 

moodrings

 
 
 
 
Anyway, here’s my tribute to the mood ring – combined with my new pet cause – Making Fun of Herpes.  The theory behind this new invention is that the Herpified can tote around this cute, cuddly, and oh-so-fashionable stuffed Herpes doll – Holly the Herpometer…(the soft, cuddly herpes thermometer you can HUG…) and based on it’s tell tale color change, it will either be safe to get down or a warning to the other party to GET OUT!
  
Hereeeeeeees Holly!
“YOU HAVE A DATE AND YOU WANT SEX! BUT DAMN! You went and caught herpes, in spite of all your girlfriends warnings to STAY AWAY from guys who live in the park!”
 
BUT DON’T BE BUGGIN!  YOU may have herpes but you also have HOLLY THE HERPOMETER (the soft, cuddly herpes thermometer you can HUG!) She’ll let you and your date know if  its “Go Time” or “Hell NO!” Time…
 
  
                hollyhTAKE5                            
  Here’s how an ad would go….

cleancutcouple2

 
 

alone1herp

 
 
 

Let me know if you think this would sell!

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. FreakSmack
    Oct 27, 2009 @ 20:30:20

    Too bad you don’t have a topical cure-all cream to sell at the end of this… I think if you made these HOLLY THE HERPOMETER into bean bags they would be the biggest craze since the pet rock.

    Reply

    • surveygirl46
      Oct 28, 2009 @ 03:12:20

      See FS? I always do my “creative” posts with a public base of like-minded people like you, my friend. You’ve given me yet another idea – to be developed at a later date…Rock on Wayne.

      Reply

  2. Woodsterman
    Oct 28, 2009 @ 14:04:28

    I’ll take two !!! I do think you should have a gift package though. You know … packed with condoms.

    Freakster’s right … It could be the next pet rock!

    Reply

  3. Static
    Oct 30, 2009 @ 02:47:15

    Does HOLLY approve of ass-to-mouth?

    Reply

  4. surveygirl46
    Oct 30, 2009 @ 02:49:10

    Only if you want fungus floating around in the mouth of the potty the ass sits upon ….:)

    Reply

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