What the job resume is Really saying…

dressupjob

The JOB resume.  Now more than ever before companies big and small are getting SLAMMED with them.

 

 

And EVERY potential employer loves to get a piece of professional-sounding prose like this:

 firstres

 

 

 

  

Sounds good, right? Like someone who will willingly sell their time to the ? bidder….(look, there’s no mention of a salary requirement!).  This looks to be someone who will work hard for you, bend over and kiss the ass of the office team, can accomodate your work schedule day or night – and actually seems to LIKE being a slave to a corporate boss for….again…(no mention of a salary requirement)…But…what if all the smoke and mirrors were gone from the charade – and the resume could speak? If the resume could tell you what the “perfect” employee really means by his “catch phrase” openings?  What if what the future employee meant was really more along the lines of this?

   RES1

  Res2

res3

reslast
haha

 
 

Well think of it this way – there still wasn’t any mention of salary requirement!

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12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Woodsterman
    Oct 25, 2009 @ 13:57:46

    Well, I fit into some of those very easily.

    Reply

  2. surveygirl46
    Oct 25, 2009 @ 16:44:35

    How did you think I knew what to write? LOL

    Reply

  3. Woodsterman
    Oct 26, 2009 @ 15:34:19

    Hey LL, Who is that gorgeous babe that suddenly appeared in my followers window.

    Reply

  4. FreakSmack
    Oct 27, 2009 @ 03:56:00

    That’s way above my pay-grade. EXCEPT the part about calling in drunk on mondays wich I did today.

    Isn’t that weird, Woody hitting on Todd like that? He must use the internet for finding booty calls.

    Reply

  5. Joe
    Nov 04, 2009 @ 10:16:15

    nice one, I could write this in my resume

    Reply

  6. surveygirl46
    Nov 04, 2009 @ 13:08:35

    Hi Joe,

    Feel free to use this one if you’l like – or I can write you one curtailed to your own personal job “scope of practice”.

    Reply

  7. Joe
    Nov 04, 2009 @ 17:17:19

    I never knew I could have been a professional spammer Indians are just cheap not spammers LOL !!

    But you know this post is pretty much what I think.

    My first job was great, my boss used to allow me to go early for fishing…he he he, I saved his arse many times. been lucky that way.

    I am so blunt that I don’t think twice before giving piece of my mind before getting fired ofcourse.

    And so now WE are freelancers LOL

    Reply

    • surveygirl46
      Nov 04, 2009 @ 17:29:04

      Joe you get it ….exactly! As i get older i find i more and more hate the restrictive confines put upon us by a system comprised of old spinster librarians who want everyone else to be as miserable as they are…

      Reply

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