Face book payback – what WOULD Jesus think?

crazysmile

 

Remember that girl in high school who appeared SO perfect she was annoying? 

Pretty, popular, PURE – and a Jesus Freak?  The one who was always going around acting sicky sweet, implying that anyone who wasn’t in the “cool crowd” was in some way lacking? The one who always made you feel like you were going to hell because you didn’t fit her standards?

She had only “the right” friends and her clique changed weekly – depending on the popularity ebb and flo of her peers with the masses.  And everyone else, who NEVER made it into her special little circle was just one in a bunch of nasty hell-bound losers…

Yeah,  she really wasn’t all that nice, was she?  She was the girl who smiled to your face while she plotted to take your boyfriend – then “implied” nasty things behind your back to start rumors and seal up the deal.    Yet she professed to LOVE Jesus and made sure everyone knew it.  In fact she went out of her WAY to “witness” to the “losers”, and forgive them for being losers, yet when she walked away after one of her holier than thou diatribes, all the rest of us could ever remember of the event was that we all smelled an essence of something putrid. 

Wonder whatever happened to that bitch?  She probably got married to some handsome, rich, powerful man –  who ended up leaving her on her 40th birthday for a one-balled transvestite with a bad wig.   Or hopefully she got a case of the crabs from a promiscuous, bisexual pool boy,  and suffered through years of embarrassing itching that never failed to crop up at the most inopportune times.  Who cares now? But… 

Wouldn’t it have been FANTASTIC if you could have set her up on Face book – back when it mattered that you were there to witness it? You could have gotten her on the promise of another opportunity to “look good” preaching the word of God, while secretly feeling more superior than EVER.  It would have gone something like this:

facehide10091

 Now gather together a group of the most cold-hearted, drugged out, crazed, explosive lovin, and/or simply moronic individuals you’ve ever heard of, and bribe them to participate in your little “joke” as “lost souls looking for”JESUS” for a few weeks.   No cash to tempt them with? No problem, a bottle of Jack Daniels should do the trick, or even a box of Zingers, hell  – they probably would do it for free – they find this sort of debauchery fun, fun, fun!   

 facehide10092

Make sure they know if they want that whiskey or those Zingers they’re gonna have to play the “repentant” for a couple of weeks. Then just as Wonder Woman is feeling semi-safe preaching the Bi-Polar Christ to this Motley Crue, and is starting to get that old air of superiority back, call her new “seekers of Christ” and tell them they can turn her out if they want….

 hc1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DREAM BIG!

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8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Woodsterman
    Oct 11, 2009 @ 16:16:07

    WOW LL, you really don’t like Amanda do you ?

    Reply

    • surveygirl46
      Oct 11, 2009 @ 16:29:54

      Actually, I know about 5 Amanda’s (i like them all). I just thought it was a snooty name – (gosh, i hope no one realizes that this post was based on an actual “event” oops my inside voice came out again) LOL

      Reply

  2. waltsense
    Oct 11, 2009 @ 22:22:12

    I want to party with TED K!!!!

    Reply

  3. Chelle B.
    Oct 11, 2009 @ 22:49:35

    Is it just me or are you hinting at a dark side of yourself?

    I likey. 🙂

    Reply

  4. surveygirl46
    Oct 11, 2009 @ 23:47:42

    Yeah he looks like he’s DA BOMB, huh…you’d probably have a BLAST..LOL

    Reply

  5. surveygirl46
    Oct 11, 2009 @ 23:50:23

    Hi Chelle – I think since I’ve learned to photoshop (i consider myself to my the “MichaelAngelo of chopped photos) my darkside is announcing itself LOUD and CLEAR – glad you are comfortable with it LOL:)

    Reply

  6. FreakSmack
    Oct 12, 2009 @ 00:50:26

    Funny how things change. When I was in School those were the girls who were eating pills and drinking beers at parties. Jesus Freaks were just the people the rest of us yelled obscenities at when they met in the middle of campus in the mornings, they like to feel oppressed, it’s a Jesus thing.

    Reply

  7. surveygirl46
    Oct 12, 2009 @ 00:53:08

    Yeah, you’re probably right, but I’m sure this fantasy happened somwhere…at sometime…to some deserving annoyance….LOL

    Reply

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