We’re Movin on Down!


 Drug house on KOVR news


Remember the sitcom The Jefferson’s?

Vodpod videos no longer available.  

more about “Movin’ On Up“, posted with vodpod


The theme song depicted the “Jeffersons” happily driving away from their run-down, dilapidated, drug infested place in the City to a “deluxe apartment in the sky”?  Well, this weekend Todd, Fluffy and I got into our cars and depressingly drove in the opposite direction from George and Wheezy.

Don’t get me wrong, our former complex H**kberry, whose motto should be “All that’s missing are the wheels”, wasn’t a paradise by any means.  And Betty, our manager, tried her best to babysit the 20 or so complex residents who thought they were auditioning for the Jerry Springer Show, but “trailer mentality” spreads like a cancer among the susceptible.  Still, the area was nice. Clean air to be mugged in.  Pampered lawns and trees to cover the attacker AND the assaulted – the crimes were covered nicely by the well-kept shrubby.  It was a false sense of security, I know.

But beggars can’t be choosers as far as scenary goes – and these beggars got lucky and found a great litte remodled duplex for the same price as the one bedroom apartment we were evicted from – thanks to Fluffy the Pit Bull (who doesn’t realize how much he’s loved). Our new place is really cute – like a little house- WITH our own washer and dryer on the premises AND the landlord is very nice and welcomed Fluffy with open arms.  There’s just one little problem…   It’s located smack dab in the middle of Del Paso Heights, Ca.  For the majority of you who don’t live in the Sacramento area of/or California – The name Del Paso Heights is legendary for it’s high crime statistics and gang-related shenanigans and is neck and neck with the tale of the boogeyman as far as scary stories go.

In fact, if you google  “crime mapping” for the City of Sacramento, you’ll see a myriad of  rainbow -colored “keys” for each crime type gaily decorating most of Del Paso Heights. 

(I tried to copy it for you.  I know it’s hard to see EXCEPT for the colored DOTS covering most of “our” town.)

delpasoheights (2)


 Although our street, Los Robles Boulevard, isn’t dotted with ANY statistical colored-keys itself, the brightly flashing lights and screaming  sirens of  the black and whites speeding down our street in either direction in 15 minute intervals, paint a different picture. I try to tell myself it’s mostly just rookies tooting their own horns so to speak, but I seriously doubt my own fantasies of safety  – not with the gang signs being flashed 24/7 by the various groups of young turks who hang out across the street at a dubious-looking apartment complex. 

I’ve already been ogled and whistled at by several suspicious occupants cruising slowly by our new place in their lowrider El Caminos and Rancheros.  It was obvious some of them were passing by to eyeball our belongings as we moved them in –  no doubt starting with a little windowshopping to get ahead of that always-irritating last minute Christmas rush at the mall.  That in itself doesn’t make me so nervous. I’ve already been informed by Todd that he intends to screw with Fluffy on a regular basis in order to get him to snarl and bark in his terrifying and charmingly vicious way. (Also as long as we’re residents of DPH, I’ve been clued in that Fluffy is now known as “Fang”)  What makes me wary is the gleam I noticed in the eye of several of my lowriding “admirers” – like they’ve just discovered “fresh” gringa” has landed in the neighborhood after a 20 year drought.

The next door neighbors have a friend who drives a newer mustang than the one I own, however my rims are hella sweet –  so Todd’s decided that in order to keep those rims on the mustang they drove in on we need to garage my car for most of it’s life here.  Are we a bit paranoid?  Maybe, or maybe the cop cars on-parade is setting the scenario.  Oh yeah, I’ve already been “stared down” by two of the neighbors themselves – both female.  I quickly dropped eye contact so as to avoid the promised future beating I saw reflected there.  But as I am a friendly sort, and often times dingy, I’ll probably forget about that warning in the immediate future,  say hello if I see them walking by our place,  and get that beating out of the way at some point.  I promise to post it if  when I do.

On a positive note, there is NO lack of pit bull protection here in this neighborhood.  Every other dwelling, resident and gang-banger,  has a blue-nose pit or staffordshire terrier just begging for someone to get close enough to it’s mouth so it can “say hi”.  Also, if you  are into discount pharmaceuticals, there seems to be no shortage of drug dealers for whatever your poison may be.   And the community seems to celebrate a diverse culture, rich in different culinary tastes.  This very morning at 6 am we noticed an asian gentlemen cooking what looked to be a cat in it’s former life.  He sat on a steet corner smiling obliviously away, bent over his  smoking TARGET hiabachi – and you know what?  it didn’t smell all that bad! 

So these are the things going on  and some of the colorful characters we’ve seen in our day and a half of residency on Los Robles Blvd, in beautiful downtown Del Paso Heights.  If I manage not to piss off the locals and stay in one piece, I’m sure I’ll have some interesting stories!


5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. FreakSmack
    Aug 27, 2009 @ 21:02:52

    Fish don’t fry in the kitchen
    Beans don’t burn on the grill
    Wait, that’s if you move up, you moved down, so I guess there’s fish frying in the kitchen? I bet you could get the hibachi guy to trade some cat for that. And did you say the gangs were Turkish? They should have the hookup on a smooth tobacco blend. mmmmm………cheeeaaappp tooobbbaaaccooo – Anyways it’s been like 4 days since you’ve posted now (I think that’s a record for you). I really hope that means you guys are still busy unpacking and not laying in a ditch some where with your organs harvested because you didn’t pay Burak the tobacco guy on time. p.s. I’ve taken it upon myself to do some Turkish gang research for you. Even the bad-ass of the bad-ass Turks can’t seem to get enough of this – you must sing it – that is very very important. But it renders them useless for about 45 seconds it’s like ear crack
    – Here goes-
    Take me back to Constantinople
    No, you can’t go back to Constantinople
    Now it’s Istanbul, not Constantinople
    Why did Constantinople get the works?
    That’s no body’s business but the Turks’



    Good luck… if it’s not already too late


    • surveygirl46
      Aug 28, 2009 @ 00:38:40

      Hey FS- No, I am not dead yet.LOL. Plus I got a contract job working with 3 other people going over blue prints for the VA hospitals in northern California. I walk around with an electronic tape measure (so do the other 3 people) all day and measure height and width of all the buildings on the plans. Tomorrow we go to Mare Island. So i’ve onlybeen in my new digs officially for a whole 4 days but i’ve been lost on the freeway twice so far LOL….I will take the turks chant to heart….thanks for digging that one up, i can use all the protection i can get. 🙂


  2. Woodsterman
    Aug 31, 2009 @ 14:43:44

    Sounds like you found a great place to live. I used to work in Compton in Southern California. These can be scary places. Freaky is right though, but try show tunes ….


  3. LisaNYC
    Sep 12, 2009 @ 04:00:26

    You’re in California?? Hands off my Scottie!


    • surveygirl46
      Sep 12, 2009 @ 05:49:09

      He must live in Del Paso Heights then…I’ve seen many examples of what appears (from a fast glance at any rate) to be his knock offs here – in every race imaginable.


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