STD Mania Dating is Spreading Like Wildfire! I See MONEY in the Future…

It's really Catching On!

 

So before you see it on the internet first, I’ll tell you my plan.  I’m jumping on this business opportunity like a rock star with dualing cases of the crabs on each nut – riding the “train” to STD heaven myself! There’s gold in them thar ab- cessed hills, and I’m just as greedy to turn a buck as anyone else is these days. 

Besides, I don’t look at what I’m proposing to be an exploitation of the innocent victims of itchy sores.  They’re aleady exploiting THEMSELVES!  If you need a refresher just go back and re-read Herpes Hotties. See for yourself how the people are bragging loud and proud to everyone! Friends an strangers alike. They name drop that old  “STD status” like UPS drops packages marked “fragile”.  And these STD’rs act like they’re in an “elite” club for the priviledged few.  So I figure, all I’m doing is giving them a few more titillating choices in their search for gooey love.  Here are a few ideas.  Please read them and tell me what you think. Or if you think you have a better idea, let me know. We can split any earnings 95 – me/5- you.  

First on my list is www.SYPHI-LIPSSSSSS.com

“The dating site where we take your “passion for rashin’  and turn it up a few more inflamed degrees.”  Questionable mouths like this one are just crawling with tricks to tease and please….1-800-SYPHLICIOUS”

Do you even know all the places her lips have been? She can't remember either!

Do you even know all the places her lips have been? She can't remember either!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok, it’s a little cheesy (no pun, I swear), but I had to have at least one venue available for those who like their porn heavily infested.  Don’t judge!  Pesky perverts are people too..

Anyway, on to the next ingenuity.  Designed with eternally frustrated, middle-aged married couples with clymadea in mind. 

http://www.CLYmidealife.com  clysign

 

“Midlife boredom got you down?  Feeling rashy? Would you like to get trashy, yet the thought of having  sex ONE MORE TIME with that saggy old alien who answers to your wife or husband’s name enough to make you want to push yourself down a long flight of stairs?”  Hold the fort Custer!

“The good people at Herpes Heaven Dating.com have joined ranks with our old friend clymadea to offer couples like you this exciting new alternative to the same old meatloaf!  Now hopeless middle aged marrieds don’t have to end it all in the usual boring, messy and often illegal ways –  homicide, suicide, going-postal out of the blue in the 10- items- or- less check out lane at Raleys. Now you can safey and morally mix it up with a new willey or HooHa!  And the infection on your erection or in your virgina is always welcome!

“But wait!  There’s more! Your insignificant other is welcomed to join in too!  Now, hold on.  We’re not asking you to roleplay Mr Rodgers and Hazel again. So put that sweater down and the bucket away”.

It’s time for a new game. A swingin’ game – when you become a member of “The ClyMIDEALIFEers”.   When you join our mid life luau you’ll be mixing a lot more than old rancid spit with flabby wrinkled lips because all our members have a case of clymadea too!  So you and the Mr or Mrs can rest assured that nothing will spoil your fantasy of an affair to remember, because everyone’s just as infected as you are!  The only drawback to your adventure is the risk you take of hooking up with someone even uglier and more disgusting than your spouse.  But hey, at least the view will be different for a while.  You may even end up thinking your spouse isn’t all that bad anymore, depending on who you meet here!”  “ClyMIDEALIFErs – Where clymadea can lead to clyMAXea…”

 

1 800 Take My Wife PLEASE 1 800 Take My Wife PLEASE

 I think this is a great public service idea, don’t you? 

And finally, here’s an idea for those cantankerous, yet lovable old goats that caught some unexpected  crusteceans while engaging in a little deep sea fishin’ in WWII.  Not to worry, you still have plenty of bait to catch some more luscious sea food before you die.  

www.OldandCrabby.com  

“Here, our members can meet up with each other as fast as their hip replacements allow”.  So relax, have a little lemonade and trade stories about the grandkids, while your little pets mix and mingle with each other.”

 And you know what the health care profession has been saying for years –  Pets are good for old people – they lower their blood pressure.  And since there’s no doubt crabs have to itch like hell, I’d say they also keep those seniors active!  Hey, it turns out there really is a legitimate reason old people are called crabby – some of them literally ARE!” 

 

A lot of seniors are secretly crabby...1 800 BE MY PEST  At OldandCrabby.com we’d never call you seniors “pests” – your pubic lice already have that job title wrapped up nicely! Call 1 800 BE MY PEST

I think by next year at this time, I’ll be rollin’ in dough courtesy of STD mania! 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
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35 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. thinkinfyou
    Jul 30, 2009 @ 13:19:05

    Sort of makes me wish I had an STD.

    Reply

  2. surveygirl46
    Jul 30, 2009 @ 17:17:12

    It kind of elevates a girl’s “triple threat” status, doesn’t it?

    Reply

  3. Thinkinfyou
    Jul 30, 2009 @ 18:11:23

    Brains,looks,and Chlamydia!

    Reply

  4. surveygirl46
    Jul 30, 2009 @ 18:26:19

    How DO YOU do it TFU?

    Reply

  5. thinkinfyou
    Jul 30, 2009 @ 22:00:32

    Usually naked with midgets with clown noses on…well that’s my favorite anyways!

    Reply

  6. anditsgone46
    Jul 30, 2009 @ 22:10:46

    I don’t get the “clown” thing but I am starting to get a visual of you with a big red nose and a noise maker (on me that look would be caused by a pint of gin and the “noisy” toy LOL)

    Reply

  7. FreakSmack
    Jul 30, 2009 @ 23:59:52

    Uhm thanks for the heads up about the links being real – I did learn a couple things though.
    1 there’s no need for me to join SYPHLICIOUS or any of the other sites your creating
    2 I think you should put some thought into a gonorrhea gym where it’s cool to get in shape and you don’t need to worry about your rash showing
    3 Thinkinfyou really has a problem with clowns

    Reply

    • surveygirl46
      Jul 31, 2009 @ 00:30:05

      Don’t worry FS i will create a dating site just for you..Fatties with Furr in Unmentionable Folds or sumpin like it? Yeah we need to have a talk with TFU, no clownin’ around…

      Reply

  8. Shitty Truth
    Jul 31, 2009 @ 09:01:31

    I want to know how the hell we all got so royally screwed over? Why do you we have to live in this time?

    At the college I graduated from in LA, the student health center reported that one out of every five students on campus had or has had an STD. That’s 20%. Now let’s assume that 50% of the students on campus aren’t able to get laid… That leaves something like 1/2 of sexually active students with STD’s… oh brother…

    People 40 years ago were free to screw like rabbits without any of this STD bull shit. And 40 years from now they will have a cure to probably EVERYTHING. Yup, we got stuck in the worst of it…

    I just need to get an STD and help you make a dating site… then I won’t have to worry any more… Cause what’s done will be done…

    Reply

  9. surveygirl46
    Jul 31, 2009 @ 17:02:06

    ST – Although having an STD a few years back was still considered “scandalous” look at the “sudden” change of heart amongst he masses. I think societal opinion sways towards whatever the immoral majority is in favor of at the time. I think your comment about 20% of the student population being unlayable back in, what the early 2000’s?, speaks volumes that in a natural selection process that is already in full swing, they wll evenutally be weeded out and only attractive, “layable” people will be around and by that time they will ALL have STD’s so eventually it will be like it was “always this way”.

    This is good for 2 reasons. 1. Like I said – it will become the norm (like bisexuality in HS a decade or so ago) and 2. It COULD make our immune system – as a collective race anyway – UBER strong and able to fight off whatever crap the government is trying to put in our food to sicken us so we spend money getting sick, well, sick, well. Yadayadayada

    Therefore, I think we should focus on creating a dating site for the unlayable – something like http://www.atleastidontsmellbad.com or http://www.ipromisetocoverupbothheads.com – after all, THEY will be the minority soon enough. This should be done before the syphilis any of us contract has time to rot the brain cells we have left after the decades of boozing, and ends up destroying our health and beauty, thus making US the very example of the “unlayble loser” we seek to bag on… What do you think?

    Reply

    • Shitty Truth
      Jul 31, 2009 @ 22:09:00

      Yes I say we speed of evolution for the sake of our children’s children’s children.

      We need to take the unlayable, layable, desease infested, desease free, etc and merge them all together to build a super immune race.

      I agree. This needs to start with the unlayable.

      I’m not sure which site I want to start with…

      http://www.atleastidontsmellbad.com

      OR

      http://www.itsokthatyousmellbad.com

      OR maybe a different approach…

      http://www.improudofmyhump.com

      Reply

      • surveygirl46
        Jul 31, 2009 @ 22:43:06

        I say Fix THEM from the most pathetic group of unlayables on UPWARD! Show the rest what can be done with the right technology and frame of mind, build it and they will come!…We can call it “Sexual Unification Project: One Orifice Reunited – All Loved (or O.O. R.A.L.) Tag line: “No orifice left behind”

        How about an in your face like the gays used = We here we’re queer get used to it ? We could have “www.Mybackboulderisbiggerthanwhatsinthatjohnsonholder.com?
        Or a poster “Baby got back – MY back?”

        (I ROCK!!!!) lol

    • FreakSmack
      Aug 01, 2009 @ 21:44:05

      Hold on, waht you are saying is. “Fuck the ugly… don’t get crusty” that sounds so crazy it just might work. Ugly chicks don’t have the clap. who gave it to them… they’re unfuckable. Well I’m going to be that guy. I was taught always marry an ugly girl she will never leave you, and if she does you won’t care. From now on I’m off the fat and diseased and on the ugly cause I don’t want to be crusty!

      Reply

  10. hfzdtrvslgg
    Jul 31, 2009 @ 18:12:10

    hQw3yp pitqrmuixksk, [url=http://chngrdraajmr.com/]chngrdraajmr[/url], [link=http://qvmmfykvpbqm.com/]qvmmfykvpbqm[/link], http://rklbujmudedq.com/

    Reply

    • surveygirl46
      Jul 31, 2009 @ 18:19:56

      Mr. CHOVESTKYCHENKOSKI – I agree with you. I AM a genius in this respect and I would LOVE to be considered for the Nobel Peace Prize for my dedicated and time-consuming works on STDS. And Yes, you are RIGHT, I DID find that cure for cancer. Oh and what you said about my knowledge of the Russian language being PERFECT? Thanks, although I had to admit, it did take me two days to completely learn – after all, I’m NOT a native. Anyway thanks for the kind comments but I had to disagree with you on one point – I don’t think that I could EVER compare to JESUS! Lisa L.

      Reply

  11. Viagra
    Aug 08, 2009 @ 20:53:27

    gratefulness you for your report and it helped me in preparing my college assignment.

    Reply

  12. Penis Enlargement
    Aug 13, 2009 @ 13:56:38

    Thank You. I will appreciate if you add me to your newsletter.

    Reply

  13. Debt Consolidation California
    Aug 14, 2009 @ 05:15:57

    really? I don’t think so.

    Reply

  14. Debt Settlement Help
    Aug 15, 2009 @ 15:31:08

    Great headline. If your cookie has a bite-sized action and your reader completes the action, I think two things happen. Their self-confidence goes up (which feels good) and their trust in you increases.

    Reply

    • FreakSmack
      Oct 27, 2009 @ 20:24:19

      So what your saying is eat the cookie, you may get a case of the herps, but your lover has them too, so you’ll be sharing, and that will build your partners self-confidence… Wow, I’ve never thought of it that way before, but you’re right…

      Reply

  15. Jabblooks
    Aug 18, 2009 @ 19:23:18

    yeh right.. great post, Thank You

    Reply

  16. Yes Messenger
    Aug 31, 2009 @ 21:35:56

    Freaking brilliant idea!

    Reply

  17. zytzef
    Nov 12, 2009 @ 16:38:57

    this reminds me of my uni friend Stan, he is a good bloke, but God only gave enough blood to run brain or penis at one time.

    So he found this girl ( she was not normal, she had some sort of mental disorder, not in a funny way) she started hanging around us, as soon as we knew about her disability we always tried NOT to do what she wanted and kept bozos away from her. If she was normal I’d have called her Ivanahumpalot.

    Stan started doing her, and bragged about it, how he did it in the garden on the swing…and…many other ways that are not even mentioned in the great Kamasutra.

    This pissed this girl a lot, so she told everyone about Stan: The 10 second guy. We gave him this nick name Stan the 10 second guy.

    Although Stan never knew about it, he thought it was because he owned a 10 second car!! As a matter of fact sometimes he would introduce himself too.

    It was not over yet, she came over to Stan one day and told him ”
    Thanks for telling everyone, here’s a present for you
    I GOT Gonorrhea, so do you!!”

    Reply

  18. surveygirl46
    Nov 12, 2009 @ 20:11:31

    OMG – the gift that keeps on giving….Here’s what’s hysterical (in a sick kinda way) to me – i check my stats every day on this blog (you know, cuz i’m an insecure ego-driven infamy craving American) and my STD posts get me the HIGHEST draws of traffic (EVERY FLIPPIN’ DAY) their are people out there either looking for people with the same condition, or are interested in maybe getting it? who knows, but it floors ME…

    Reply

    • zytzef
      Nov 15, 2009 @ 05:29:11

      Oh, please… I was just going through your old posts…why do you stereotype everything…Love the way you think about things…nothing more nothing less.

      Reply

  19. surveygirl46
    Nov 15, 2009 @ 08:17:45

    Hmmm…i didn’t think anything of it TILL NOW…WHY are you interested in STD? HMMMMM…Isn’t your name ZYTZEF an ANTIBIOTIC????? now its clear…

    Reply

    • zytzef
      Nov 15, 2009 @ 10:01:53

      I hope zytzef does not resemble to any antibiotics!! I m not interested in STD’s HA HA HA HA HA… Ok I promise no more comments on STDs no more. (double negative )

      *Sanju stands with a white peace flag, coz he knows he does’nt stand a chance.

      Reply

  20. liesolley
    Nov 25, 2009 @ 20:42:37

    Thank you representing details. It helped me in my responsibility

    Reply

  21. surveygirl46
    Nov 28, 2009 @ 18:44:43

    Dear lie.solly? (Lysol?)

    Thank YOU for taking time out of your busy spamming sessions to read “STD Mania Dating” – it means a lot to me that I “represented” some details for you, but what “responsibility” did it help you with?

    Are you saying that you will now be “responsible” and quit spreading the itchies around? That’s probably a bit late in the game…

    So most likely your spam is one of those “generic” type deals created to fit any situation, am I right LYSOL?

    So on scale of 1 -10 I give you a -3 for “boring” and a -5 for “lack of imagination” in your answer. I would have given you a whole -10 but the fact that you’re obviously named after a DISinfectant and you spammed on a post for the INfected is just too jysterical not to mention….Now go away
    Or

    Reply

  22. Trackback: My many STDS have brought me success! « everything but the furr…

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