When BlogFloggers Attack! A Description of Them and My Plans for Counter-Attack

bloggerbullies

 
 
 
 
 
 
Just when you thought you’d left these jerks behind in grade school (or at least had weekends off from them at work), they show up to invade yet another of your sanctuaries.
 
The cyber-mutation of this old nemeis is sliming his way into bloggerville these days. Competing with genital warts and an IRS audit for the #1 position on everyone’s HELL NO! list is a new contender – The Blogger Bully. Or the BlogFlogger, as I like to call them. They’re not all openly aggressive, not all women but all of them have become a giant virtual hemorrhoid on the ass of every blogger just trying to do his thing.
 
What’s the deal with these people anyway? Are some of us really that anger-repressed and constipated? Even with ALL the self-help info, plastic surgery, pyschotherapy and religious cult choices and laxatives available to everyone these days – How can it be that there still remains a sub-culture of people who gleefully jump right in to play the bully whenever opportunity strikes? Don’t they realize they’re giving a SHOUT-OUT to the world admitting what assholes they are?
 
Woman Loses Tooth in Argument Over Best Ice Cream Flavor!

Woman Loses Tooth in Argument Over Best Ice Cream Flavor!

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Most bloggers, including BlogFloggers, have joined at least a couple of the blogging directory/social networks on the internet.  Because it’s assumed that we’ll all play nice, any registered blogger can start a public discussion on almost any topic for the participation of any blogger who wishes to do so. BlogFloggers have seeped right in to distribute their dog shit through these discussion threads –although the word dis-cuss is almost as big a joke as assuming they’ll stay on the topic of the discuss-tion.
 
Here’s an example of one species of BlogFlogger:
 
The BlogMocker (a BlogFlogger that’s come out of the closet so to speak and is openly agressive):
 
These cretins put out threads with disharmony in mind – like, I think Christian’s SUCK ASS, how about you?” Though stupid and annoying, these poor schleps are just begging for attention however negative, and welcome the company of verbal agression from others that their topics bring. You can spot these unfortunates a mile away, and although the posts are kind of comical to read in a laughing stock kind of way sometimes, everyone pretty much knows they’re crackpots and what they’ll be getting into with them if they participate.
 
The bigger and more annoying bully of the two is the Masked BlogFlogger. Because he appears normal at first, it’s very important to watch for the following signs if this is indeed, the creature you are dealing with.
 
The Masked BlogFlogger or MBF:
 
Often initiates or participates in harmless topic threads like Do you think Paris or Italy is a better vacation spot in the spring?
 
Starts out commenting in a pleasant , intelligent and seemingly normal manner as he describes his trip to France.
 
Moves then to polite banter with a blogger who made the comment that he found the weather too hot in France for springtime. He playfully exchanges differences of opinion with the blogger. This is the perfect victim for bully as the other blogger has no idea he’s dealing with a irrational psycho. The victim continues along innocently giving his opinion touting the Italians and their terrain.
 
Now slides ever so gently into the position of Patronizing Know-It-All. He throws one or two thinly veiled contemptuous remarks at the victim, admonishing him on being mistaken on his choice of vacation spot.
 
Anticipates the hesitation on the part of his victim as the poor guy struggles with how to humanely approach this left field assault,  while in the meantime another comment from the MBF magically appears. Complete with a paragraph quoting facts from an expert on the superiority of France over Italy. This is an attempt to publicly shame his victim for having made such a dreadful suggestion for the opposite view to begin with.
 
NOTE: Bloggers with no experience in this kind of situation continue to defend their stand, yet understandably start to get dizzy and confused on why they’re being forced to do so to begin with. This is what our MBF wants.
 
Lets his victim ramble on in vain defending his opinions and even apologizing at times to this seemingly once-rational blogger he’s somehow offended and THEN moves in for the kill.

With something like this:

Oh You Must Like Vanilla Ice Cream Because You're A WHORE!

Oh NOW I get it! You like Italy because You're A WHORE! AND You're Stupid! Hey everybody, look at the STUPID WHORE!

 

  
  
  
  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
MY PLAN:
 
Why should We have to avoid THEM? After all, no invited them to slime on in with their cockroach ways. They’re the ones causing all the bullshit.
 
Therefore, I propose that all of us bloggers get together and take steps to stop the madness! We should take a vote to make it official – All BlogFloggers will have two choices when they choose to hop on into our social networks with the intention of being anything but. They need to be made easily identifiable, just like the BlogMocker is. So here are their two choices:
 
 
Choice #1:
 
They can wear this button so all know who and what they are:
 
Say it Loud! Say it Proud!

Say it Loud! Say it Proud!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Choice #2:
 
Or be chased naked until caught – then tied to a tree in a vacant field and left there to have their genitals removed by furry gerbils and other, bigger creatures that come out at night..

choice2

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Sound good?
 
 
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9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. freaksmack
    Jul 02, 2009 @ 19:28:37

    Someone told me I was a stupid man-whore for liking peanuts and sorostitutes…. I could only agree.

    Reply

  2. Ryhen
    Jul 03, 2009 @ 01:12:51

    I’m just glad noobs haven’t infested the blogosphere… yet… LOLLOLOlROFLMFAO11!!!11!!!!

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=noob

    XOXOXO!!!

    Reply

  3. Ryhen
    Jul 03, 2009 @ 01:20:33

    btw, that button on choice #1 is really trendy. send some over, i have a few interested neighbors… they don’t blog, but that’s not really an issue anyway…

    Reply

  4. Mr Condescending
    Jul 04, 2009 @ 19:37:41

    Lol this is why I don’t do these discussion things! You are dead on with that stuff, although I would love to see two bloggers posting crap about each other!

    Reply

  5. thinkinfyou
    Jul 05, 2009 @ 21:56:04

    Look at you and your peace loving ways! I’m going to start calling you the Mother Theresa of the internet!! LOL!

    Reply

    • surveygirl46
      Jul 05, 2009 @ 22:25:18

      Yes well I’ve always been a big fan of the non-agressive moralistic sensitive approach to life, our earth and all it’s fantastic creatures. Although I prefer to be called Mother “Dearest” Teresa…(just for future ref of course…)LOL

      Reply

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