Cute and Cuddly Kitten-Gerbils, Where Can I Get One?

 

DO THESE EXIST?  LOOK, IT'S WAVING!! I WANT ONE...

DO THESE EXIST? LOOK, IT'S WAVING!! I WANT ONE...

 

                         

 

 

 

 

 

I started losing my Peter Pan fantasy life when I was still a little kid. 

It wasn’t because I was heartbroken to find out there was No Santa Claus.   I started having my own doubts about his existence the year before,  when HE appeared on every street corner with the same tired bell, bad attitude and B.O.   My 4 year old sister cried when she heard the news.

It wasn’t because that pussy Charlie Brown freaked out on CBS every fall about the Great Pumpkin.  I could never figure out what was so GREAT about a giant squash that sat in a field wearing cape once a year.  And why would anyone be intimidated by a vegetable whose only purpose in it’s vegetative life is to end up as a pie on your dinner table?

It wasn’t because the Tooth Fairy stopped coming to collect my teeth and leave me  quarters.   Actually I’m glad those visits stopped.  I never trusted that asshole;  he always creeped me out.    “Go to sleep Lisa. In the middle of the night you’ll hear the door creak open.  But don’t worry,  it’s just that fairy Uncle Rob with the one tooth – you  know, that asshole brother of your Mother’s.  The one that eats all our food and smells like stale beer.  Just pretend to be asleep as usual. He’ll go away soon – he always does. Hey, maybe he’ll leave you another quarter for buggin’ ya in the middle of the night like he did last time, now get to bed!”

It wasn’t even that the Easter Bunny was a fake.  I never liked him anyway.  I mean, how’s a kid supposed to tie in the story of the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, with some giant rodent wearing purple show-tune clothes and a permanent scarey smile coming out once a year to hop around Aunt Carol’s yard and hide things in her lawn gnomes?   (Unless it was Jesus in that rodent suit all along…)

Anyway, what pissed me off at 7,  and made me realize that grown-ups were a bunch of story-telling liars is that they lied about every single one of those childhood rites of passage.  A betrayal to every child when he’s small.  I guess I just NEVER got over it.

But I’m thinking I might forgive them and never bring it up again, if they get me one of those  Calico kitten-gerbils for my birthday.

 

 

humor blog

 

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. thinkinfyou
    Jun 19, 2009 @ 21:42:45

    If you do get one,you better get a baby one.I’ve heard those thing have major anal issues when they get older!

    Reply

    • surveygirl46
      Jun 19, 2009 @ 21:48:55

      Yeah and if the wrong person gets a hold of them, so to speak, they may find themselves a prisoner in a cage that’s not so golden LOL

      Reply

  2. FreakSmack
    Jun 20, 2009 @ 04:22:27

    I want some of what that gerbil in your header’s on. He looks fuckin wasted. Oh, and the Easter Bunny blows !

    Reply

    • surveygirl46
      Jun 20, 2009 @ 05:48:33

      Actually, I modeled the wasted Gerbil after you my friend LOL, and you’re right, the Easter Bunny does blow….the Tooth Fairy…HAHAHA

      Reply

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