Proposed Offended Reader Block

  

 
 
 
 
 

 

Some of you woke up one morning and turned on your computer, only to find your blog blocked, thanks to assholes like these:

 


 

 

 

 

(Are they sisters or did they just suck the same lemon?)

 

 

And this had to be placed in front of your blog, blocking all those lovely pictures of penises and asses:

 

Content Warning:

 

 ome readers of this blog have contacted Google because they believe this blog’s content is objectionable. In general, Google does not review nor do we endorse the content of this or any blog. For more information about our content policies, please visit the Blogger Terms of Service blah blah blah blah blah….

 

  
  
Whatever..
 
  
So therefore I have proposed to Google that they block all presently Offended Idiots or any future idiot who wakes up one day thinking this might be a great day to start being offended at something or someone, by making them register at Offended Idiot.com and be forced to wear this Badge of Offense:

 
 

 

 

 


 
In addition, all Offended Idiots will automatically be directed to a warning whenever they offensively click on a website or blog that is sure to offend them.   So in other words this means most of what they access on the web. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soon they will be blocked from our lives for good as they will only be able to access Jerry Falwell’s Top Ten Reasons Why You’re Going To Hell  annual list, and a few of the Richard Simmons workout sites where he doesn’t appear too faggy. I hope they have fun sweatin’ to the oldies!:
 
   

 
 
 
  
  
  
  
 

Here is the proposed Warning to all offended idiots:

  

Illegal Reading of Content by Idiots Warning: 
 
 
 

Some authors of various humor blogs have contacted Google for the purpose of conducting private investigations into the illegal viewing of humorous material by nameless, faceless, so-called offended readers.

These morons have been clicking on websites without the author’s prior permission, with the sole intent of running to Google to prattle on about things they either don’t understand or have turned out to be too complicated for them to fully comprehend – yet they find it highly offensive.
  
Since these idiots obviously aren’t aware that US citizens have had the right to freedom of speech for over 200 years and don’t respect those of us who exercise ours, it would indicate to us they shouldn’t have the right to exercise their freedom to be offended by the reading of any material with a comprehension difficulty level higher than See Spot Run.
  
Since they are as lacking in general intelligence as they are in the balls to stand up publically to whine and complain for their right to whine and complain for no reason, we the authors request that Google place an immediate block on their internet privileges.
  
For more information about our Idiot-Blocking policies, please read the below statement.
 
  
 
 
  
Offended Idiot Blocking Policy:
 
 

Due to the fact that some people are terminal  Offended Idiots who always find humorous material highly offensive,  it was thought to be best for all concerned that they don’t find it anymore. Therefore this block will take place immediately after the Offended Idiot, or O.I., reads and signs at the end of this claimer.

  
Therefore, the O.I. is hereby notified:
  
At the determination of a person’s Offended Idiot status, they will be classifed as such and issued their official badge as proof of classification.  The protocol will be as follows:

Any future attempts to access the offending material by the O.I. will cause their badge to ignite and light their assholes on fire, while shorting out their internet connection to said offensive material and causing their snuggies to implode.

The protocol will be adhered to and enforced by this policy at all times, and will be effective immediately. 

 In addtion, the following test is deemed necessary to determine the status of all potential O.I.’s:

 

Please scroll down to determine your offended status:
 
 

  
  
  
 
 
 
 
 
OFFENDED?  
 
Too bad!   It’s a free country you stupid jerks, and you can’t stop me  from saying and posting whatever I want! hahahahahahahaha……
 
 
 

 

GOOD RIDDENCE!!!

 

 

humor blog

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. LisaNYC
    Jun 24, 2009 @ 00:50:25

    Brilliant post!!!!!!!

    Reply

  2. surveygirl46
    Jun 24, 2009 @ 01:59:24

    Thanks Lisa!! This was one of the posts I transferred from blogger to wordpress and I had about 8 or 9 comments on it, but for some reason they didn’t come over with the rest of the comments. Oh well…You’re my very first on this post on my new blog:)

    Reply

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