Blogstalker’s; the New Cyber-Annoynance


I’m a member of Blogcatalog and I know a few of you other HumorBloggers are as well. I’ve seen a couple of your avatars grinning back at me from the discussion boards of some pretty serious subjects – “What surgery treatment have you tried to correct saggyballs?” ( Mr. Condescending), “Decorate your hemmoroids with spray paint and clothespins to make fun prehistoric animal shapes” (Thinkinfu), and “What Helps YOU Sleep through Sex with your Spouse?”(Everyone else, especially Nonamedufus).

Maybe you’ve noticed lately that Blogcatalog is teeming with these new, extremely agressive bloggers who spill into our space like cyber-roaches and stalk us when we’re just there trying to forget our circumstances and minding our own business.

They jump in our cyberfaces with shout outs that seem almost to demand that we join them on their quest to be the Prom King of Blogcatalog, or whatever the hell they’re after. They insist that we cut deals with them to exchange numerous visits to each other’s sites, post positive comments on their boring articles about sheep fertilizer, and of course be sure to rate them with the 5.0 star rating, and they promise to do the same!!

Where’s the fire with these bloggers? Are they in a contest that no one told me about? Are they damned determine to become popular as bloggers because they were such losers in high school? There are so many of these annoying attention-seeking bloggers, I figure there must be some rational explanation to their feeding frenzy I’m just not getting.

Does Pol Pot Still Live To BlogStalk For Cash and Prizes?

I’ve even received written shout outs from about 4 different little asian financial bloggers, one who looks a lot like Pol Pot BTW, all stating in effect: “I click on blog. Nice blog. Maybe you do me comment same?” After I realized these bloggers are serious , I always spend about 10 minutes refilling my wine glass, pointing at the screen and laughing my ass off. Then I start calling people on my cell to give them the Blogcatalog address to they can point and laugh too, as they read the shout outs for themselves.

Then to be polite, I usually post a return shout out by running a bunch of unreadable consanents together with a lot of explanation marks!! (I want to be positive that they get a mental picture of me in a red and black helmet, drooling when I talk.) Doing this usually takes care of the problem and I haven’t seen their dictator-like avatars stalking mine for clicks again.

Changing tracks, on Blogcatalog you see a lot of blogs that have 5 star ratings. I have given a few out myself to extremely clever blogs that crack me up with their wit, curse words, and trailer people parodies, but I do use them sparingly. I never got a rating in the past at all, but it didn’t bother me because I have more people reading my blog than I ever thought I would, and that’s enough to let me know I’m not alone in my mental illness.

But unlike the Blogstalkers, it never crossed my mind to ask people to trade blog readings with me. That sounds like elaborately planning ahead of time to cheat on a test because you know you’ll never pass it on your own. See, I want the people who read my blog to be those not held at gunpoint. I need to know there are a few more psychotically hopeless left-fielders out there in cyberland besides myself. It’s my connection and I’ll explain why.

When someone comes to you of their own accord and seeks you out, it’s like a soft, reassuring pat on your shoulder when you’re feeling alone and abandoned in the world. It’s like they’re saying, “Hey Lisa, I’m a fucked up weirdo too. I ALSO know what it’s like to be the menopausal french fryer/condiment refiller at McDonalds, and I want you to know that I read Monday’s post and I too, have always had the dream to stick a raw pineapple up Hitler’s ass.” It’s like they get me for real………

Anyway, the point of my ramble is I actually received my first 5 star rating yesterday! From a real blogger! And a nice review too, unbegged for by me! So I have to admit I basked for a wee bit in the surprise kudos. And I made sure to post a shout out to thank the blogger who reviewed me. He is actually one that I read daily and love!

So today, I get on Blogcatalog just to see what all my blogging homies are up to and I see he posted a shout out reply to my thank you. Now this blogger has complimented my blog before so I know he was sincere in his review and it wasn’t a pity rating, HOWEVER his last comment got me reflecting again on this popularity race and the gold star rating madness. Especially the purpose of these things in our lives, if there even is one. Here is that part of the message:

“I saw I had been reviewed. When I saw you didn’t have

one I figured I’d be the first. I don’t know what it actually does though.”

See my reviewer doesn’t know EITHER! Now I am back to my original conundrum of trying to figure out what the big deal is with this need to be the most viewed, highly rated blogger on the web. I mean some of the people have avatars for faces, we don’t even know if they’re human and they want us to give them that kind of power?!!

Or have people maybe gotten so desperate for attention that just the bragging rights and a gold star labeling their popularity will do it for them these days? And in that case, it really doesn’t actually DO anything just like my blogging friend wondered.

And me, I know I can’t WAIT to pass on the news to my successful investment broker neighbors that I received 5 GOLD STARS! for my original content Fart Blog! LOL.

If anyone knows a rational explanation or even an interesting theory for this “oh oh choose me!! blogger hysteria that would make me want to start my own blog beggin’ and solicit shoutin’ this very night – please fill me in as soon as possible.

In these hard economic times, I could probably be swayed to lower my morals for some cash, shelter, or YooHoo rewards……..Eating ramen’s getting old…

UBDISSED-CLAIMER: Ok, i don’t know WHAT is going on with my text’s in the two different areas of my blog; it’s not me trying to not care that it look’s sloppy but I DON’T know how to fix it…..K? Oh and on the offchance that Pol Pot is still alive and on a Blogstalker killing spree, I just want to say – I wear a HELMET and I DROOL and I don’t know what I’m talking about ……ever….

humor blog


16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Thinkinfyou
    May 29, 2009 @ 01:08:56

    I’ll never understand the whole blogging popularity thing.Some times with blogging,I feel like I’ve been enrolled in a virtual high school 18 yrs. too late! So if you want to, lets skip class and go smoke behind the bleachers!


  2. surveygirl46
    May 29, 2009 @ 01:22:50

    OMG! I’m so there girlfriend! I thought all the grade school crap was behind us but everywhere i look these 7th and 8th graders keep popping up to whine. (that’s why i have wineLOL) All this and now North Korea wants to bomb us for 1950…..Let’s prioritze people; guess their next up on my posts:)


  3. FreakSmack
    May 29, 2009 @ 04:02:19

    surveygirl46 The guy who reviewed you is not a “real blogger”. I’ve read his blog and he is nothing more than a cut and paste asshole with a keyboard.

    Seriously though I hate not having controll over who adds me as their friend. I get ten emails a day saying so and so has added me as their friend most of which I know haven’t even looked at my blog.

    The review, I saw I had two and when I was coming here to read yours I wanted to make sure I wasn’t the person who likes farts and there wasn’t one there. I thought you deserved one more than me. I will never say Hey Lisa, I ALSO know what it’s like to be the menopausal french fryer/condiment refiller at McDonalds, but you will never know what it’s like to pass a kidney stone the size of a golf ball while laying whiskey drunk in a ditch


  4. surveygirl46
    May 29, 2009 @ 04:11:42

    FS – I hope that it was ok that I used you in my blog; our shoutbox comments today gave me the idea. No i don’t work at McDonalds yet but I am aspiring to be there if they’ll have me LOL PS Kidney stones ewwww…..i have not have to ever pass one through that small tube but i have been there when it was happening:)


  5. Klay Kisses
    May 29, 2009 @ 13:03:12

    I know what you are talking about. I tried to blog about that too but my mental part of my brain took over and I just rambled on about why I follow the people I do. If anyone ever tells you why the “blogstalkers” are after us, please fill me in. I am kindof scared! LOL. Can I come too THINKINFYOU? I just love it when I go to blog catalog or receive and email and it clearly states: “I am a dumbass and I can type. You follow me, I follow you.” What the hell would I want to follow you for and I really don’t give a rat’s butt that you looked at my blog. One guy even told me, “I taking class no to lern english. Then I be better”. Yeah, like you have a chance in _ _ _ _ to git betr. Ok, If I don’t have something nice to say, don’t say nothing at all! So, I shut up now! Sorry. I got carried away.


  6. surveygirl46
    May 29, 2009 @ 22:17:15

    KK- I guess one thing you can say for the blogstalkers – they’re persistant; they would make good IRS agents or proctologists – both dig way in to find all the shit!! LOL (Hey that was clever)


  7. Skye
    May 29, 2009 @ 22:52:41

    This had me in stitches! I’m completely clueless however in regards to this other blogging place you’re talking about. I’ve heard (read) it mentioned in others blogs, but have yet to actually go and check it out. As it is, I’m glad there is no rating like that here, but I’ll still go smoke behind the bleachers with you and Thinkinfyou if you’ll let me 🙂

    BTW if there were a rating system like that here, I’d give you 5 stars with no expectations involved!

    my confirm word is seweet, just thought you’d be interested…lol


  8. surveygirl46
    May 30, 2009 @ 02:01:08

    Skye, we should make up some porno words for the trailer people who post like “hotpantssisters” or for the ‘tard that’s reeeeealllllly trying “DUhhhhh” or “shorrrrtbus”



  9. itSAMEERacle
    May 30, 2009 @ 05:56:39

    I find blog the the BC and i KI$$ yo ads. Yo red mai blog and kiss it 2?>KKKK? Chk it out an gve the ffrewdback. kthnxbai


  10. surveygirl46
    May 30, 2009 @ 06:49:52

    So it was YOU stalking me with that Pol Pot avatar…..


  11. FreakSmack
    May 30, 2009 @ 16:47:41

    it’s cool use anything of mine anytime you want. Mi braino es su braino. We toilet humor peeps need to stick together.

    I did read the first half thinking you were calling me a stalker though. I’ve been called worse.(nothing more than a cut and paste asshole with a keyboard) By a “real” blogger who writes something and then tells you why it’s funny.


  12. Surveygirl46
    May 31, 2009 @ 04:43:49

    Dude! Stalker! No way!! You and your blog are one of my favorites!! I love your humor and your comments, it’s a lot like my humor, sick, twisted and don’t give a shit about the prune faces cry babies who complain about content but STILL manage to read it every day; I LOVE Howard Stern and I don’t get how people take shit so seriously. I used to work with Russ Limbaugh in Sacramento and i used to tell him to make sure to stop by my desk before 5 pm to insult me with a gender slam!!!


  13. Chris @ Maugeritaville
    Jun 03, 2009 @ 03:34:52

    I'm on BlogCatalog as well, and the friend thing confuses me. I do not know these people!

    But the community in general among bloggers is something I enjoy. If someone comes to my site, I'm more than happy to visit theirs. I'm following a great many blogs due to that very process. My problem is when someone's blog doesn't hold my interest after a while . . . I don't want to "unfollow" because that seems rude.

    At any rate, the best way to get and keep readers is to write interesting material.

    Go figure.


  14. surveygirl46
    Jun 03, 2009 @ 05:02:41

    Chris, i agree!! I just thought it was funny how people these days don't even try to hide their effort to try to win, whatever it is their trying to win!


  15. dizzblnd
    Jun 03, 2009 @ 13:19:06

    Yeah….. High School never ends. E V E R. Whether it be in the workforce, in a theater.. whatever.. you are always surrounded by people with streets named after them. "One Way" Wow that ramble didn't make sense, but you got my point.

    I refuse to exchange links with people who have come by my blog one time JUST to get me to exchange links


  16. Surveygirl46
    Jun 03, 2009 @ 17:03:55

    Dizz blnd – the next time they ask for a courtesy click, tell them that their blog kinda makes them look fat…..


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