CLICK IT Where the Sun Don’t Shine

Clicks with no comments SUCK!

Yesterday I stupidly started another blog. This was done without thinking it through in a last ditch effort to assuage the remains of my ego after hitting the unfunny writer’s block of the humor venue.

Don’t get me wrong, every time I want a good laugh all I have to do is go to my site and revisit such classics as “100 Ways To Make Granny’s Fall Seem Like An Accident” and it works every time. But since I am the only soul out in cyberspace who seems to think mangled grandparents are still funny I figured maybe my “niche” lay in blogging on a serious helpful subject; not just help give the reader a dumb Scot Peterson Knock-Off that could come back to bite me later.

So I thought about it and came up with a great scheme I was qualified for by a recent event and genetics.

Behold! Rockin’ your 40’s; Beauty, Health&Wellness of Spirit Advice That Works!! An over 40 gal blog for staying fit, beautiful and peaceful . My cred? A week ago, a crew of young neighborhood studs in their 20’s did nothing but comment on my hotness and how young I looked to anyone who would listen, what they were on was anyones guess. But I decided to cash in on my bonafide stamp of hotness, eternal youth and knowledge while I could. While women readers might still believe in what I was slinging if they happened to see my picture. My crew of MILF lovers would be there to back me up if needed. But I had to do it now because I know that female “grannytization” can happen at any moment.

My intentions are great. I plan to post tips for budget teeth whitening, make up tricks for the eyes, and so forth. With my actual know-how and recent street creds I figured this blog for a piece of cake.

My “About This Blog” page is so unlikely deep and insightful it still brings tears to read it, but this is when a problem starts in. I start with a joke about being a drinker/smoker while asking the reader not to expect information on how to pass a drug test. Then it’s the stolen web image of a full pack of cigs with one green cig sticking out with the caption “How do you know I’m smoking tobacco?”, placed lovingly below my reflective diatribe on life.

Post #2: Tired eye eradicator is full of useful tips but at the end I have added a picture of a lazy eye with another derogatory comment.

Post #3: The teeth whitening post is full of good information but first the reader must wade through a white sympathy card captioned “So Sorry You Missed Open Enrollment At Delta Dental” right next to the image of a grinning tooth missin’ meth mouth that says “Nice try BUT ….no”. Finally the teeth whitening instructions appear but alas, I’ve polluted the message by including the pointed reference of some readers maybe having the urgency to get rid of their Bubba Jo teeth.

Twice I’ve changed my now- misleading blog title. It has gone from Rockin Your 40’s: Beauty, Wellness&Mental Humor Work Together to Rockin Your 40’s: Black Beauties for Wellness Not Mental Forever.

The yogurt face mask post is set for tonight but I think it’s too late for amends. Plus I don’t trust myself anymore.

Since yesterday this blog has received 40 clicks but NO comments. I would rather have been ignored completely.

I use this analogy to explain why: My blog is clearly the geeky girl at the party all the guys keep accidentally running into while trying to find the spiked punch bowl. Courtesy eye-contact is made after bumping into me. Then one look and they’re gone!

How do I feel about that? No Comment.

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. ettarose
    May 09, 2009 @ 12:47:00

    I promise I did not click and not comment. I was too lazy to visit anyone yesterday, and the day before that. Possibly the day the day before that day. I personally think you are a hoot! If you start giving beauty advice I am so outta here!


  2. surveygirl46
    May 10, 2009 @ 07:06:00

    I don’t blame you; any advice taken from me regarding beauty should be thoroughly researched by the CDC Thank you for coming by…


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