FUN with Grandma (Games to Play with Your Senior)

I know, once again I’m again picking on the Senior Element with no provocation whatsoever besides the fact that I am a mere 4 years away from getting my involuntary AARP card in the damn mail.

(It also may be due to the fact that I received an email from my sister yesterday in which she notes that my nephew was treated to the sight of his grandma (my mom) answering the door with no pants on. This incident closely following the “uni boob” viewing of April 19th- a top ten listing in my Alien Sightings folder….)

So in order to stave off the monster of what is yet to befall me, and just cause I find it so damn fun, here are some games I’ve come up with that I think the senior population along with their families and caretakers would enjoy competing in for fun, prizes, continued independence, and familial duty avoidance:

Wheel Chair of Fortune Win fun and practical prizes, such as catheter bags, chin hair tweezers, and new wheelchair brake pads!! All you have to do is correctly answer questions like “what is your name” and “what did you have for breakfast this morning?” and not break a hip spinning the wheel!

(Participation requirements: Must be coherent enough to form words, maneuver own wheelchair and not scream out tourette-like explicatives at the other contestants. Answers to the game questions based on memory from 10 years or earlier will not count as correct for questions posed in the present)

It’s Time to Play THE FAMILY NUDE!!</ – Compete in fun and prizes as family members and five year old grand kids alike correctly guess the number of times Grandpa has shown up to the Easter dinner celebration nude, smoking his pipe, just as the ham was being sliced!!

(Participation requirements: Being coherent is obviously not a pre-requisite. In addition, senior subject need not attend the game show taping in order for any family member to win the grand prize such as a new car. Survey Says! Prizes such as these will never be mentioned as the game show subject will no longer be included in family Sunday afternoon drives, not after the shenanigans of last Christmas.)

The Price Is RIGHT…..(But We Have To Admit Him This Weekend):

Three teams made up of two members from each family set out to BEAT THE CLOCK while convincing Uncle Harry that the run-down nursing home they’re moving him to this weekend is actually a new swingin’ senior assisted living center called Scooters where the attendants, required by law to help with the residents’ personal body care needs, are all young nubile blond females that work topless and were formerly employed by Hooters

The lucky team wins such fabulous prizes as regaining their freedom from emptying bedpans, washing sticky substances off of underpants, and no longer having to lie and tell the subject that all the pharmacies in town have been out of Viagra for weeks. – Hey, the outcome is totally worth it; you know Uncle Harry doesn’t have any money to leave you, he just wants someone to wait hand and foot on him and be able to cop the occasional feel when your teenage daughter is with you)

(Participation Requirements: Advancing dementia, still-functioning genitalia and a couple of unfulfilled fantasies increase odds of winning)


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Winky Twinky
    May 11, 2009 @ 13:40:00

    HAHA…I’ll qualify in a few years.. I’d wanna go on while I can still remember my name though


  2. surveygirl46
    May 11, 2009 @ 19:29:00

    Hey it’s my new friend!! Yeah i will be there too my dear. maybe losing my mind with be the best thing I never find (hey that was pretty clever of me LOL)


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