I was just 28

when in high school

I stole some beer

And shot some pool

My ma would holler

when it got dark

To bring her some smokes

To the trailer park

I’d Sit all alone

in my outhouse room

Takin’ a dump

And reflectin’ the moon

Till one night

when it got real late

Through my CD

I hurd them fates

Twas Metallica –

They singed at me

CHANGE your hair boy!

Then you’ll be free

Puff it up in front

Slick it down in back

Then young man

You’ll be on track

So the vr’y next day

While Momma was drunk

Trying on KMART wigs

An Screwin some punk

I stole her monee

And runned away

To the CutNRun

Where the barber ‘s gay

An I tol’ him my dream

I spit out my plan

He grabbed his crotch

And squeezed my hand

He understoot

I swear it’s true

He cut on my head

Till his face turnt blue!

6 hours later

He’s finnly done

And I gots to pee

And Pinch me out one!

But he held up a mirror

To show the new me

But I weren’t the fella

I thought I’d be

In the mirror

To my dismay

Was a butchy guy

Or a girl turned gay

It was KD Lang

With fuzz on her chops

I had become this weeks feller

Featured on COPS….


6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. dizzblnd
    Apr 30, 2009 @ 10:18:00

    Alrighty then 😉


  2. surveygirl46
    Apr 30, 2009 @ 11:05:00

    I don’t know, i was in a weird mood, and well, it rhymed…


  3. DouglasDyer
    Apr 30, 2009 @ 13:00:00

    Do I smell Pulitzer?


  4. surveygirl46
    Apr 30, 2009 @ 17:24:00

    Well, you smell something I am sure…I smell a lawsuit, I think this guys picture was in a internet highschool year book or something (when i stole it that is)


  5. ettarose
    May 03, 2009 @ 15:17:00

    You know what is sad? I know people as we speak that STILL sport a Mullet. I want to get up behind them and cut a huge plug out of the back of their heads I swear I do.


  6. Surveygirl46
    May 03, 2009 @ 17:04:00

    The mullet wearer needs to go to the same place the combover wearer is headed – to jail with 15 to life for sporting not one but TWO dead animals, species unknown,and not even knowing how to stagger them for the right effect….Ok, i had wild hair in the 80’s but it all blended in into one nice big KNOT


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