Even Granny Gets Horney

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What with being broke – always- and now unemployed – last week, my newest online moneymaking idea, discussed with my love Todd of course, is the possible venture into the open, sometimes oil slick sea of online dating. We messed around with the idea of creating another online BOOTYCALL but alas, they already have the monopoly on the best of the best photos of feet and beer bellies needed to entice those 2 am callers.

To make a long story short we elected to research the viability of establishing a senior dating service, and by senior, I don’t mean people in their last year in high school.

I mean old folk need heavy sweater warmth, soft food, denture cleanser AND a headlong roll into the posturpedic every once in awhile right? Ok, it’s unsettling to visualize, I know but so is seeing them naked when you’re 7.

Anyway, we came up with some possible dating site names with the elderly in mind. Please read the list and let me know if any of them sound promising. If you have other site name suggestions, I will happily consider each and every one I receive. Here is the list so far. It consists of the name and the descriptive tag line for each:

Times ‘a Tickin.com – For you AND our registered members. Do yourself a favor, don’t wait ANY longer. Times ‘a tickin, you should be stickin’. Call today.

Pills and Spills.com – For the adventerous yet medicated senior whose into trippin’ out over life and into garden furniture.

DentureAdventure.com – She’s totally ON, when they’re totally OUT. OR She won’t just Fall down, she’ll Go down. (Not too sure about this tag line)

Friends With SSI Benefits.com – Friends first, then maybe if you treat him right he’ll treat YOU to early bird special at Denny’s if you can get him to cash that disability check. Call and find your bowlmate today.

PensionPushers.com – Come and spend what’s left of it and life etc! on that one special lady or gent. Call today.

AtLeastThey’reBreathing.com – Yes, there’s that. Call today, hopefully have a live date tomorrow.

JustWalkerHome.com – Come on you sexy old goat, what are you waiting for? Shuffle the gal off to coffee at the union hall before you walker home. She’s waiting for your call.

Viagra Falls – Ladies, call now and hook up tonite with a still viril old coot who will undoubtably fall for your charms and whatever else gets in his way. Go grey today!

BrokenHipsWrinkledLips.com – Don’t let your hip bone be the only bone that pops out! There are some sexxxyyyy senior gals ready to pay you the lip service you deserve. Call now!

HoveroundHotties.com – Let us hook you up with a sleek grey fox who’ll take you for an exciting spin around the nursing home grounds on his Hoveround; then it’s on to Rite Aid where you’ll pick up your Depends and some denture adhesive. Who knows where it could lead you from there! 1 800 gos slwr.

That’s my list so far. Do you think a dating service like this would fly with your widowed grampy? Comments welcome…

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11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. dizzblnd
    Apr 28, 2009 @ 11:17:00

    I like all of them. Pills and Spills is my favorite though.. followed closely by Denture adventures.. Go read my post today.. you might want to include those tips on your website

    Reply

  2. DouglasDyer
    Apr 28, 2009 @ 14:16:00

    I can’t top those. But I’ll try anyway.
    I’ve Fallen For You And I Can Get It Up.com
    Pussies And Pacemakers.com
    Hump My Hump.com – For those osteoporosis fetishists.

    I was right – couldn’t top yours.

    Reply

  3. itSAMEERacle
    Apr 28, 2009 @ 16:36:00

    HAHAHAHA you have no idea but this post just made my day! All of these are freakin hilarious! Personal favorites: Viagra Falls and Hoveround Hotties.

    Reply

  4. surveygirl46
    Apr 28, 2009 @ 19:20:00

    Dizzblnd I’m on it! Douglas Dyer, Those are all great I ideas but Ithink Hump my Hump has a certain ring to it; Miracle Man, Viagra Falls and Hoveround Hotties are my favorites too! I still crack myself up on those.I’m going to Hell I know…….
    Thanks for the ideas though, i may be adding more

    Reply

  5. Anonymous
    Apr 29, 2009 @ 04:00:00

    Check out another but unique 100% free online dating at http://www.promatching.com/

    Reply

  6. FreakSmack
    May 05, 2009 @ 01:03:00

    DentureAdventure.com is a winner. I also like HotForBingo.net you can score up and down, sideways, or diagonal, but, you’ll always yell bingo when you’re finished. Then there’s always ScrewProtectionYourAlmostDead.com it pretty much speaks for itself. I love your blog keep up the good work.

    Reply

  7. surveygirl46
    May 07, 2009 @ 02:32:00

    Thank you FreakSmack, i love your name AND your senior dating site ideas; my guy and I were cracking up!!! Lisa L

    Reply

  8. FreakSmack
    Jun 24, 2009 @ 23:19:16

    I want to know why these sites aren’t up and running yet. Gramps aint getting any younger.

    Reply

  9. NICHOLE
    Dec 02, 2011 @ 03:08:20

    Oh My GOODNESS!!! You Have Got To Do This! My Vote Goes to “HOVEROUNDHOTTIES.COM” 1.800.GOS.SLWR ~Unbelievably Funny & Completely Marketable, I can see the commercials now!

    Reply

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