Anyone call for ONLINE BOOTY?


I was bored silly one night and decided to try to find random dating sites that were different from the ones seen advertised over and again on the internet.

I found sites for beautiful-only people, ugly people, handicapped people, fat people, average people etc. The main message I got from all these dating sites was that their clients were people just looking for someone to connect with, fall in love with and establish a meaningful if not marital, relationship with. At least that’s what the sites tell you they’re about. Then I came across a site called Online Bootycall.

This is an onsite “dating” service that cuts right to the punch. Sign up is free for both genders, but there are package “upgrades” if you’d like more in-depth details about “potential” booty that is interested in getting into your booty or vice-versa. After you sign up, create a profile and handle, and add a picture you are free to start crawling the OBC network by town, mile ratio, etc. for promising-looking booty etc.

I signed up under my boyfriends stats and inserted a picture of 70’s glam-turned-pervert rocker Gary Glitter so i could scope what was out there.

What I found on the OBC cyberfreeway was a combination of every kind of bootycaller; good-looking, average, not so hot, sad, scarey, and downright hilarious. There were even “callers” who had posted as their avatar a picture of a body part. Now being as the site is called BootyCall, I totally understand seeing a lot of pictures of ass. After all, if “booty” is the main reason one is patronizing the site, it stands to reason that one would like to show off what they’d be getting in that department. However, I also found pictures like this:

It made me wonder if what I was seeing was the “best” part of themselves that the “bootycaller” had to offer.

And if the BC caller DOES get hits for “dates” based on their “best feature” pictures what do they do with the rest of their body, assuming it’s not fit to be seen, if someone wants to meet them in person?

I guess they could:

Encase themselves from top to bottom in a plastic body bag, cutting two holes at the bottom of the bag for the feet in order to walk, and another hole for “showcasing” the “best” feature”.

Meet their date in a no-tell/motel darkened room and never show themselves at all. Playing the mysterious “booty” caller, performing their physical talents and leaving their date intrigued and wanting a “call-back”.

Simply “put it all out there” and meet their date “as is” and hope that their date sees beyond the physical and likes them anyway, or is at least horney enough or empathetic enough to throw them a sympathy booty call using their “best feature”.

Anyway, guess OBC recognized Gary G. and Todd got a nasty automated email from them stating that all members of OBC had to post a REAL picture. So bye bye to Gary G., who actually has enough on his plate nowadays if the newspapers are to be believed, and HELLO to real picture of Todd! (I am so lucky, Todd supports my research and ramblings in WHEREVER I go ..)

MY BAD: In editing the OBC profile from Gary’s photo to Todd’s I forgot to change the profile gender preference from bi-sexual to heterosexual. The picture at the top of this post is of an interested “caller” who keeps sending Todd OBC requests for a “date”.


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